The Jailbird | ✔️

XIV

KEEGANS POV

The day went super slow, didn't run into Russo, didn't run into anybody. Everybody kept their distance from me... and for the first time I felt peace... in prison. When does that ever happen?

The jail guards call lights out and he finally enters the cell, his eyes bloodshot and his body slump. "Javier?" I whisper, sitting up in the bed. He looks at me, his eyes droopy and nods his head. "Are you okay?" I whisper. looking into his glossy eyes. My heart beats faster... in fear.

He nods his head and slowly lays down in his bed, I don't miss the stumble. I jump down from my bunk, looking at him. His eyes closed, he's barely on the bed and he's already sleeping? "J-Javier?" I whisper, shaking his body. He doesn't move. My fingers reach for his pulse... it's still beating but it's a weird rhythm...

****

And for the first time I wake up before him. I jump off the bed and see him still in the same position as last night, this time more sprawled out. "Javier..." I shake his body, he immediately shoots up, almost hitting his head.

"Jesus fucking..." He mumbles, closing eyes and rubbing them. He looks at me, and doesn't take his eyes off me... it almost makes me blush.

"Were you high last night?" I whisper, sitting down at the metal chair and looking at him. He rubs his face and lets out a yawn, nodding his head yes.

"They... they let us get high once every two months for one day... I don't usually do it but I felt like I needed to feel something other than..." He doesn't finish his sentence, but he lays back down and rests his arm to cover his eyes.

"Other than... what?" I whisper, my mind already assumes what he was going to say and tears brim my eyes. He doesn't say anything but I hear him gulp. "What did I do to make you hate me so much..."

"Fuck, Keegan! You made me fall in love with you which is why I hate you so much!" He snaps, sitting up and looking at me with furrowed eyebrows and squinty eyes. "Before you, I gave a fuck about no one. Now that I have you, all I care about is you. Do you know how frustrating it is? Especially in a dump like prison?" When he's done, he's panting. "I just wish I had fallen in love with you before I made the wrong decisions... because I swear you have the ability to want me to become better." He sits closer to me, and starts pointing at the cell. "How am I suppose to be the man I want to be for you in a place like this and with a fixed sentence? When I get out of prison my life will be even harder than it was. What are the chances of us even having a life together?" He doesn't stop there. "I'm so mad because my feelings could be futile. You're going to leave me one day and I will probably never see you again... and that'll destroy me. I hate you because I CAN'T HAVE YOU." He stands up, he starts panting and pulling at his hair.

Everything he says... it's all true. We can't have a life in prison and probably never will... I let the tears fall from my eyes at the sight of him. "Because in the end... no matter what you do... it'll never be good enough." I whisper, he looks at me and nods his head. His eyes blinking rapidly. "I didn't realize you felt so strongly about me..." I whisper, he lets out a dramatic sigh, coming over to me and pressing his lips against mine. His hands go behind my head and forces me to stand up, his other hand rests on the back of my lower back, pressing my body against his.