Hope

chapter 17

Josh's POV:

I haven't been to the hospital in forever. It breaks my heart to see Clarie like this..so broken.

I hadn't noticed the light turn green signaling for me to go, thus me getting honked at.

Right now all i want to do is see mom, so im heading towards her grave. I miss her so much. Mom and Claire were the only happiness i had in life, and then i lost mom to a brain tumor, and im slowly loosing Claire.

I get out of my car and quickly lock it before shutting my door and heading towards the direction mom's grave is. I slowly walk up to the grave my eyes falling on the big stone, looking at the words carved in 'In Loving Memory Of Lisa Parker'

              'R.I.P.'

      'Born: April 21 1965'

    'Death: August 15 1999'

Under it read; 'Don't greieve for me,for not im free, I'm following the path God laid for me. I took his hand when I heard him call. I turned my back and left it all. I could not stat another day, to laugh, to love, to work or play. Tasks left undone must stay that way. I've found that peace at the close of day. If parting has left a void, then fill it with remembered joy. A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss, ah, yes, these things too i shall miss. Be not burdened with times of sorrow. I wish you the sunshine tomorrow. My life's been full, i savored much. Good friends, good times, a loved ones touch. Perhaps my time seemed all to brief. Don't lengthen it now with the undue grief. Lift up your hearts and share with me. God wanted me now; he set me free.'

I take the back of my hand and wipe the tears that were falling from my face like there was no tomorrow.

I bring my knees to my chest, and put my head between my knees. Letting sobs escape my lips, and tears fall out of my eyes. . .

I slowly open my eyes, blinking multiple times so i can get use to the sunlight shining in my eyes. I didn't realize i fell asleep. I stand up, and i can feel some bones crack making me feel loser.

The things around me start to shift and form into different shapes. "Who are you?" I turn around to be faced with Claire.

"What? Where am I?" I say confused.

"Who are you?!" She screams.

"Im Josh, your brother."

"I don't know you! Get out!"

"Shhh, it's okay. I'm not going to hurt you." I walk towards her, but she takes a step back. I take a step foward she takes a step back.

"HELP! HELP!" she yells. . .

I quickly sit up, sweat beading my whole body, my breathing slows down, i look around at my surroundings confused to where i'm at at first, then realizing im at my moms grave.

Im a bit shaken up if you want me to be honest, but i know it was just a dream.. right? I mean what if Claire never really does get her memory back and she is stuck with a whole in her brain where the memories are supposed to be. Living a life where you don't know who you are at all. Trying to remember things from your past that get you so frustrated because you can't remember a single thing. I would hate that. Having to recreate new memories to fill the void of the old ones I can't remember. Having people ask you about your past, and the sudden pain in your chest grows bigger so it feels like you can't breath because you don't know the answer. The feeling of being. . lost. The memories i once had fading into oblivion. If that was me i wouldn't be able to handle that, i wouldn't have a reason to be smiling, i would want to hide away from everyone, i would want to be gone. Because if i knew that the rest if my life i wouldn't get my memory back, it would be useless for me to still be alive.
(A/N two more coming

-julia)