Hope

Chapter 19

Clarie's pov

5 DAYS LATER!

The past five days were quite normal, basically playing out the same way. Nothing supreme happened to me. Though Liam and I got a lot closer with each other, and I think my feelings for him grow every second I spend with him, and if I am being completely honest with you. . . I wouldn't care if I feel in love him.

After Louis had told me how we became best friends some of it came back to me. I actually pictured it in my head, like watching a movie of your life again. Then I guess you can also say that I have been getting some of my memory back.

Louis and Liam were talking about this Josh guy (apparently he is my older brother) saying that he hasn't been around here for awhile since I had awakened. What a nice brother I had! "Hey guys? . . " I trail off at the end. The conversation they were having coming to a halt. Louis turns around to face me, and Liam looks at me like I might die right here, right now. "I was wondering who-is-um is Josh actually my brother?" i stutter a bit.

"Yeah." They both say in unison.

"Then like-how come- why-why isn't he here." I don't know why but i start to feel on the verge of tears.

"Oh, well. . . I don't know really." Louis says sadly. When I look up and meet with his eyes, they had lost the beautiful blue colour and replaced it black, sadness washing over him.

"I'm going to call him actually, and keep calling until he answers." Louis says. Getting up off the couch and heading to the door. He shuts the door behind him leaving Liam and I alone.

"How are you feeling?" Getting up and walking over to sit down next to me on my bed.

"Fine." I say softly. Bringing my head down and playing with my hands.

"Fine isn't a feeling Claire." I don't answer him, because I can't get the words to leave my mouth. 'My own brother doesn't even like me'

He brings his hand under my chin and tilts my head up to look at him, our eyes not connecting. "Hey. . . look at me." He says faintly. I bring my eyes to his, looking at his dark brown eyes. His eyes held so much passion, so much love, so much comfort, I could literally fall for his spell, and I am. . . His eyes dart down to my lips then back up at my eyes. "Love, tell me what's wrong." He says soothingly.

"My own brother doesn't even like me. . ." I mumble so I hope he doesn't hear. . . but to my luck he did.

"Oh, Claire. Josh is just- he loves you- but-" He exhales, taking a breath and starting again. "but I think he is taking his time to process what is going on. He loves you with all his being Claire, don't take it the wrong way. Okay?" I nod agreeing with him.

he gestures for me to come closer to him and i do, bringing me in a hug. We stay like that for awhile, him rubbing circles on m back, I don't know how to explain it but, like i feel safe in his arms.

He pulls away slightly so our faces are only inches apart. "Did I ever tell you, you have the most beautiful eyes."

"No. . " i mutter being at a loss for words.

"And the most beautiful smile." I feel my stomach flip upside down, butterflies forming in my stomach. I don't answer so he can keep going.

"And you being. . . perfect." My hearts flutters from the words that just fell from his mouth. He brings his head closer to mine, resting his forehead on top of mine. My breathing quickens as he pulls his head back, but soon brings it back. Glancing down at my lips and back at my eyes, he leans in, and i can feel his breath on mine, in seconds I feel the plump pink lips on mine. The kiss is slow at first, our lips moving together in sync. He deepens the kiss by tilting his head more to the left, swiping his tongue across my bottom lip, I open my lips, his tongue roams through my mouth feeling every bit of it. I feel like with this kiss we are communicating with each other. It feels so special.

we both pull away, breathing heavily. "I'm so sorry Claire. . "

"For what?"

"This. . ." Waving his hand between the both of us. Oh. . . "Claire-I-we-this can't-I can't do this. . . I don't like you like that." He stops to take a deep breath.

My heart breaks into a million tiny pieces, tears staring to build up making my vision cloudy, and he continues. "What we just did. . . I didn't mean too. It was a spur of the moment." He looks down at the ground so he doesn't meet my eyes. I'm glad he doesn't because I'm full on crying, but I'm pretty sure he can hear me. He brings his head back up, and he meets my eyes again. I see a flash of heart and sadness wash across his face, but then quickly replaced with doubt. He brings his hand up to my to wipe my tears away, but i pull back. "Claire I-" I cut him off.

"Just go. . . " I look down to avoid his eyes.

"I didn't mean to hurt you." bringing his hand under my chin and lifts my head up to meet him.

"Please. . ." I beg. He nods his head, and gets up off my bed. He retrieves his phone off the coffee table, and heads to the door, before opening it he looks back at me for a second, and i see hurt flash across his face. He lowers his head a bit and turns around and opens the door to left himself out, and closes it behind him leaving me alone wit

h my thoughts. . .

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( A/N heeey guys whats crack-a-lackin?

. . . . what do i do with my life *face palm* ANYWAYS!....... How are you guys liking the book so far? leave some comments down below? i have a park test tomorrow and i really dont want to go -_- someone want to take my place! lol im quite tired, i have been writing these three updates all day, and it just drained the poop out of me! High school drains a lot of energy out of you thats for sure! anyways this is probably like really long.

OH I ALMOST FORGOT i changed my instagram name to @/julia.horann so in case you wanted to ask any questions u could :)

instagram: @/julia.horann

twitter: @/juliaxxsoto

oh and if u wanted Rachel's social medias just look through the other updates and u will find them!

i will be going now. . .