Tony Stark one shots

Trickster

We also have information regarding- Stark! Are you playing Candy Crush right now!?" Everyone in the room jumped at Fury's exclamation. Except Stark. And Phil. And Natasha. And- Okay, most of the people in the room jumped at Fury's exclamation. Clint could live with being one of the people who jumped when his boss raised his voice- that mman was scary.

They were in the middle of a debriefing after their latest mission consisting of a battle against a giant 'shrimptopus'. Stark, in a rare show of cooperation, had agreed to attend the debriefing. Steve was under the impression that he was finally learning to take his orders, but Clint knew that the only reason the billionaire had come was to watch Fury try to act professional when talking about an enormous octopus-shrimp-thing. To be fair, the twitch in Fury's eye was pretty funny.

About five minutes in, Tony's phone had chimed and he had began texting, which everyone ignored except for Steve, who continued to shoot disapproving looks in the genius' direction. Now, twenty minutes later, he was apparently playing Candy Crush and the Director had finally snapped.

"No, Patches, of course not." Tony didn't look up from the screen as he responded. "It's Plants vs Zombies."

Looking around the room to try and stop himself from smiling, Clint picked up on Steve's disapproving glare, Bruce's shaking shoulders from silent laughter, Natasha's carefully blank face which told Clint she was amused, but not enough to break composure, Thor's blatant confusion at the situation and Hill's rolling eyes- which didn't have the heated annoyance she was obviously trying to display. What shocked him, though, was the sight of the usually unflappable Phil Coulson, whose lips twitched slightly. The Director's own deep breath was the signal that he was about to engage Tony in a verbal combat, which meant he was either really bored as well, or really annoyed. Probably both.

"And why, Stark, are you playing games in the middle of a debriefing?"

"'Cause I'm bored- Ah ha! Got you, motherfucker!" Neither Bruce nor Clint were able to contain their snorts of laughter this time. Tony put his phone away, obviously having decided that annoying Fury would be more fun than playing the next level. "'Sides, I already have all the info you're dumping on us now."

"How-?" Fury groaned. "Keep your robot butler out of my damn systems!"

"But why? It's so much faster and I don't miss out on any important information that you may decide to gloss over because of your secret-y nature. If your security isn't up to par, it's your own fault you get hacked. Besides, J likes playing capture the flag with your guys. He says they're not as dumb as the FBI, so you should be proud, really."

Nick Fury didn't look very proud. He looked decidedly unimpressed. "We still have shit we need to talk about, Stark, but we'll be discussing this later."

Tony smirked. "Fair enough, but if this is about the information regarding Dr Tsilib, I think I should warn you that it's mostly fake. Hill, check your phone. JARVIS just emailed you his real research."

"How did you even-!? No, never mind." Clint looked at Phil who was looking over Hill's shoulder at what was presumably the information. "He's right, Director."

"Screw this, Stark, you have nothing better to do than debrief, so sit your ass down, shut up and listen to this new information that we have just received." Clint was surprised at how the Fury just accepted Tony's information. He had to admit that he was rather bored too, but there was nothing to do, so he just decided to put up with it for now. He watched as an obviously bored Tony sunk his head onto the table with a heavy sigh, Bruce patting his back consolingly.

"Okay, now-"

"Oi! Starkster, I'm bored, let's go mess with people." Everyone (except Stark) jumped to their feet at the sound of wings flapping, accompanied by the appearance of a rather short man with long, brown hair and amber eyes. No seriously, he just appeared in the middle the room- right next to Fury.

"Sure thing, Flappy-Bird. I'm bored as fuck." Everyone stared at Tony incredulously and his completely calm response to the being who had just teleported himself into the middle of the fucking room. He raised a brow at the stares he received. "What?"

"Stark." Natasha began, tense but controlled. "Who-"

"Who the fuck is this? And how the fuck did he get on my damn ship!?" Fury had a gun aimed at the newcomer's head, although he didn't seem very alarmed.

"Woah, woah, woah!" The guy raised his arms in a gesture meant to calm people down. It seemed rather sarcastic, though. "Calm your farm, Pirate-Boy. Name's Loki, and I'm the Trickster god." Everyone looked to Thor who looked shocked, then just confused and angry.

"You are not my brother. He can take many forms, but you do not act like him- who are you really!"

"Dude, just go with your real name. There's already a Loki in this universe, so you're just confusing people now." Everyone watched as Tony addressed Loki-not-Loki.

"Aw, really? You guys seriously already have a Trickster god called Loki? That sucks. Fine." He gave an exaggerated sigh. "Name's Gabriel. I'm not actually from around here, but I'm totally called Loki in my universe. And I'm a Trickster. The Trickster. It's a part time job."

"Well, that's just fascinating." Fury said sarcastically. "Now you want to explain how the fuck you just appeared on my ship?"

"Oh that? Psh." He gave a little hand wave, as if to say it was no big deal. "I just flew through space. Now, are we pranking douches or what, Stark?"

"Yep, and I've got the perfect target. A certain General, who keeps trying to hunt down my Science Bro, here. No concern about collateral damage, genetic experiments, controlling father. Sounds right up your alley."

"Ooh, I like the sound of that. We're totally visiting the Winchesters after, though."

"Plural? So Sam's alive again? Huh. Took him long enough."

"I know, right? Okay, let's go, mi amigo." A fluttering of wings later, and both Tony and Gabriel were gone. There was silence for three whole seconds, before Fury began speaking again.

"SHIELD is not touching that one with a ten foot pole. For your own sanity, I suggest you all do the same." Everyone nodded and sat down. "Now, as I was saying..."