Tony Stark one shots

What tony has learned about pepper

What Tony's Learned in Six Months of Dating Pepper that He Never Knew in the Decade They've Known Each Other:

Pepper sleeps naked

It's very nice

She has freckles everywhere

That's very nice too

If you play connect-the-dots with the freckles on her back, you can draw a satanic pentagram

Pepper does not find that as funny as Tony does

Tony is not allowed to keep pointing that out to her

Or drawing it in

Pepper's high heels are just as uncomfortable as they look

Foot rubs help

Tony's foot rubs don't

But Dummy's new foot rubbing apparatus attachment is working just fine

Like her wardrobe and her personality,
Pepper's beauty is the high-maintenance kind
In and of itself, the maintenance isn't that beautiful
It is, however, essential

Tony is not allowed to touch her foot cream, her face cream, her hair cream, the cream for under her eyes, the cream for above her upper lip, the cream for the soles of her feet, the cream that Tony's not allowed to ask about, he's not allowed to touch any of them, no, not even that one, put it back

Natural beauty takes a lot more work than Tony ever suspected

The mystery cream is for a yeast infection
When Pepper says Tony doesn't want to know, he doesn't want to know

Nobody who has had Chlamydia twice is allowed to be grossed out by a yeast infection

Yeast infections don't involve puss, Tony doesn't know why he thought they involved puss, but they don't

Tony knows nothing about being a woman

Pepper knows all she wants to about being a man

Seriously though, don't touch her creams, they are in a specific order that Tony will never understand
Don't touch her face either, not when she's finally got it the way she wants it
Pepper is impressively good at makeup
Pepper is the Picasso of makeup
Pepper does not like being called the Picasso of makeup
No woman wants their face compared to a Picasso painting
Jackson Pollack is not a better comparison
No, neither is Goya, what the hell
The point is her makeup is beautiful
The point is Tony needs to work on his compliments
The point is there are not enough words in the English language, even if Tony could manage to put them in the right order, to convince Pepper to muss her face after it's in place
The point is kissing stops after the makeup goes on and Pepper becomes Ms. Virginia Potts again
But if Tony insists (and these days he doesn't have to insist very hard), he can convince her to kick off those damn heels and come back down to his height
And he can cup her on the neck or the bare arm or anywhere he won't muss something, and she will lower her head and close her exquisitely painted eyes, and he will press his lips against her forehead where he won't leave any evidence
Pepper smells like his soap and his sheets
Pepper has always liked the way his soap smells
Pepper has always made sure someone came in to clean his sheets
When she's on the opposite coast from him, doing the important things he used to hate doing and loving it, he can't stop himself from sprawling across their big empty bed, remembering the heat of her brow underneath his lips
There is no greater feeling of joy than someone gracefully accepting what you willing give
While Pepper sleeps naked, pressed against Tony's back, one arm flung over him, hand resting on the thrumming arc reactor, she snores and snores and snores
Tony's not stupid enough with love to be into that
But give him another six months