Dulling Glisters of the Diamond (Casa Fuego Series #5)

Chapter 23

String of strength

Before I boarded the plane, I discreetly handed my one last letter for Julius to Lourdes. Humahagulhol si Lourdes nang tinanggap ang sulat. I looked away because I was moved with her tears. How can she cry that hard for a cold and stoic person like me?

"Thank you, Lourdes. For everything," I said sincerely before I immediately turned my back against her as I felt my tears formed in the corners of my eyes.

I was devastated when I boarded the plane. Wala akong ibang ginawa kundi ang umiyak. My father, who did nothing but to comfort me and follow my caprices, is now also very disappointed to me. Magkatabi sila ni Mama sa unahan habang ako'y tahimik na umiiyak sa likod.

Iniwasan ko nang makibalita tungkol sa kontrobersiya sa pagitan ng pamilya ko at ng mga Manriquez. Lalo na ang engagement ni Julius sa ibang babae, at paniguradong hindi nila ilalabas na buntis ang babae hanggat hindi pa naikakasal. I know it won't do good on me. I'm still very broken I could crash into pieces any minute.

"It's nice to see you again," Kuya Emerson smiled at me.

Naglahad siya ng yakap ngunit dire-diretso lamang ang akyat ko paitaas. When I saw my reflection in the mirror, I cried more. I looked so pitiful. There was no hint of glamour in me. My baby bump is not yet showing but I know something's changed physically.

Hindi ko na muling tinignan ang sarili ko sa salamin. Lalo pa nang lumipas ang mga buwan at nakikita ko na ang paglaki ng aking tiyan. I am tall so my baby bump, even at five months, doesn't look too big for me. For the first time in my life, I felt so insecure. I haven't felt beautiful for the past months.

"You're so beautiful," Kuya Emerson smiled as he guided me to the backyard.

I sighed. I am wearing my white maternity dress and a sandals. Nagluto si Kuya at naisip niyang dito sa backyard kumain. The pristine view of the lawn calmed my nerves even for a short time. Wala sila Mama at Papa dahil parehong may inaasikaso sa Pilipinas.

I am still very much stoic. I am still ashamed. Hindi ako masyadong palaimik noon pa man, pero mas lumala ngayon. Naawa ako sa sarili ko na hindi ko magawang makipag-usap sa kahit sino.

Kuya sighed and put some pasta on my plate. Umirap ako at iyong wine agad ang pinunterya.

"Hindi pwede sa 'yo 'yan!" he hissed and took the bottle.

I rolled my eyes again.

"You'll be giving birth two months from now. We'll welcome your baby boy soon," ngiti niya. "Do you have a name for him already?"

Tipid akong umiling. Ni hindi pa nga ako nakakabili ng mga gamit. Tanging si Lola lamang at si Kuya ang nagaasikaso ng lahat. Umisip pa kaya ng pangalan para sa batang ito?

Ngumiti ulit si Kuya, pilit pinapagaan ang lahat habang ako'y walang imik.

"Of course, his second name has to be Alexander, right? Given our family tradition..."

Hindi ako umimik at kumain na lamang. He sighed but he put more pasta on my plate.

"Kumain ka pa. Buntis ka pero ang payat ng mga braso mo," iling niya.

I never thought my pregnancy would have been this way. Heck, having kids didn't even cross my mind. Hanggang ngayon, hindi ko pa rin matanggap. At hanggang ngayon, nasasaktan pa rin ako na wala akong nakuha ni isang salita kay Julius.

He has really forgotten about me, huh? Sa dinami-rami ng sulat ko sa kanya, imposibleng wala siyang natanggap ni isa roon!

Marami pang sinabi ni Kuya pero ni isang beses ay hindi ko siya sinagot. He put down his fork and stared at me. Nagtaas ako ng kilay kahit hindi nakatingin sa kanya.