Dulling Glisters of the Diamond (Casa Fuego Series #5)

Chapter 26

Wrong number

"Mama, we're floating in the sky!" Javion said excitedly.

Ngumiti ako sa kanya at hinawakan ang dulo ng shirt niya dahil panay ang talon niya. We are in a first class so he can freely jump on the bed. Nasa unahan si Papa at sumulyap sa anak kong malikot dahil sa tuwa. Of course, Kuya Emerson refused to go home.

Hindi ito ang unang beses na sumakay siya sa eroplano. We've traveled together especially during holidays but I guess he was still too young to appreciate travelling. Kaya naman ngayong maliksi siya at tuwang-tuwa, panay ang kuha ko ng pictures sa kanya. Kaya naman nang bahagya na siyang kumalma at nanuod na lamang sa kanyang iPad, doon bumuhos sa akin na totohanan na pala ito.

We're going home to the Philippines after six years. Hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala hanggang ngayon, lalo pa't matagal ko nang tanggap na hindi ako babalik dito dahil naroon na ang buhay namin. Luckily, I can do my work on my laptop. Pero hindi naman iyon ang pinoproblema ko.

I know how much I prepare myself I will never be ready, so I just decided to go home for Papa's birthday without a concrete plan. May mga ideya ako sa gagawin ko pero hindi lubusang pinag-isipan. Especially that I don't know what to expect.

I never heard any news between our families anymore. I never heard news about Julius for the whole six years. Lalo pa't alam din ng pamilya ko na ayaw kong makadinig ng kahit ano. But of course, I know that he is married by now and already has a child. Ang huling balita ko sa kanya ay ang engagement at pregnancy ng fiancee niya.

I gasped at the thought.

Hindi ako kailanman nakaahon sa nararamdaman ko kay Julius. Ang pinagkaibahan lang ay ngayon, tanggap ko na kahit kailanman, wala kaming lugar sa mga buhay namin. The home I built in him was crashed down and was replaced by a new woman's fortress. Tanggap ko iyon, I convinced myself over and over again.

I promised my son I will introduce him to his father. Hindi ko alam kung paano iyon. Natatakot akong makasira ng pamilya. Pero paano naman ang anak ko?

The consequence of that promise is to have to talk to Julius again after so many years. He ignored my letters six years ago, so how can I afford even an hour with him now that he has his own family?

Napabuntong hininga na lang ako.

Mahihirapan ako. Parehong sa kung paano ko siya maaabot. And at the same time it's an emotional torture for me. But for my son, I will endure everything.

Bukod pa roon, umaasa akong makibalita manlang kay Mama. It hurts that within the whole six years, she did not even try to contact us. She did not even try to apologize. She did not even try to reach us.

I sighed again. Bumaling na lang ako sa anak ko. Everytime I am in doubt, I just look at him and then I'm ready to fight again.

Hinaplos ko ang kanyang likod. Nakadapa siya habang nanunuod ng cartoons sa kanyang iPad. Napatingin siya sa akin nang hawakan ko siya.

"Aren't you sleepy, anak? We board the plane in broad daylight, now it's already nighttime."

"Can't sleep, Mama..." he shook his head.

I smiled. Namumungay na ang mga mata ko sa pagod kakaisip.

"What's Philippines like, Mama?" he said even though he had a hard time pronouncing the country's name.

"Well, if we are in the context of Casa Fuego, it's a great place, Jav. It's secluded but it's wonderful. Mama grew up there."

"And Papa?"

Halos mahugot ko ang hininga ko.

"Y-Yes..." I swallowed hard.

Napabangon siya. He looked at me intently. Gosh, he's acting like Julius at this early age! Paano pa kaya kapag nagbinata ito?