Dulling Glisters of the Diamond (Casa Fuego Series #5)

Chapter 11

Hook up

Everything happened so fast. Hindi ko alam kung balang araw, pagsisisihan ko ito. I have never had boyfriends before even when my suitors lined up. I never had even a love interest. Nothing interested me about relationships or whatnots and I didn't know that it only takes Julius to break that.

Ni hindi ko alam kung paano ang galawan sa hook up. I have heard about this set up but I have never tried this before. Talagang kay Julius pa ako pumayag! Sa dinami-rami ng manliligaw ko na nililigawan ako nang maayos, doon pa talaga ako sa niyaya ako nang walang kaibo-ibo!

Whatever it is, however erratic my thoughts would be, I feel contented with my decision. I feel at peace with my decision. I just know that I will have fun and feel safe and be myself... with him. It's even greater that I can enjoy myself and his company with no feelings involved. No pain to pay.

Gaano man ako nababaliw sa mga nangyari, wala akong maramdamang pagsisisi sa naging desisyon ko. For years that I was denied of my true happiness, maybe just for once, I can give way for myself.

Walang feelings. Walang commitment. Walang kahit ano mang sabit. Just fun and company, that's all. Not a bad deal, after all.

Pero syempre, gusto ko pa ring maging malinaw na... kaming dalawa lang sa set up na ito. I am Grace Villacorta and I will be horrified to learn that I am just one of his girls. Kung gusto niyang pumasok sa kasunduang ito, dapat ako lang. I am worthy enough for him to drop his other girls. Dapat ako lang sapat na. Dapat ako lang, wala nang iba. Dapat ako lang.

And wait...

I have heard about hook ups and whatnots especially that I studied abroad most of my life. At kung hindi ako nagkakamali, hindi lang samahan ang mayroon sa set up na ganito, hindi ba? Hook ups sometimes include... sex.

"Oh my gosh!" I screamed and covered my face with my pillow.

I am a virgin! I never had my first kiss! I am just too proud, uninterested, and hard to please for boys to even attempt to kiss me! Sa mga nakalipas na taon, malamig lang ako at walang kibo. Minsan walang ekspresyon ang aking mukha. Ngayon lang talaga ako nabaliw ng ganito!

Baka naman pwedeng pag-usapan na walang sex involved katulad ng walang feelings involved? After all, he said that he just wants company. But then again, hindi naman siya magyayaya ng ganito kung...

Goodness gracious!

At hindi ko alam kung bakit imbes na madiri ako at mainis ako, para pa akong kinikiliti! Panay ang upo-higa ko sa aking kama habang iniisip iyon. My thoughts even had a quick glimpse of Julius' naked... body...

"Grace!" sigaw ko sa sarili ko at muling nagkulong sa kumot.

Kanina ko pa sinusubukang matulog pero hindi ito mawala sa isipan ko. Lalo pa't nagtataka ako dahil dapat pinagsisisihan ko na ang desisyong iyon, pero bakit parang ni walang katiting na pagsisisi akong nararamdaman? Talaga ba, Grecianna? Kay Julius ka pa bumigay sa dinami-rami ng mga nanligaw at naireto sa 'yo!

I also know that my mother is cooking up something about my marriage. Alam kong talagang sisikapin niya si Eros Hermedilla para sa akin. O 'di kaya'y iba pang anak ng kapwa mayaman. And I know she won't settle for the rich. She wants the richest of rich for me that's why she's pushing a Hermedilla for me.

Paano kung makarating ito kay Mama? Will this be a secret? Bakit ba ako pumayag gayung hindi ko naman alam ang galawan dito! I will ask him tomorrow!

Naiisip ko pa lang na pag-uusapan namin iyon, para na akong natutupok ng apoy. Can you imagine the reserved and glamarous socialite Grecianna Villacorta in a fucking hook up?!