BEST THING

IX

Sunday

Today, my sisters and I were hanging out. I don't know why I thought it was a good idea, considering I was still hangover. After my walk in session yesterday with Celine, I thought it was a good idea to drink again.

I was drinking my problems away because I felt embarrassed for pouring out my heart to a stranger but I guess I wasn't one to her. Although I was glad to have gotten a lot of things off my chest.

My house was clean and all I had to do was take a shower and wait for my lovely sisters to arrive. I hope I won't be too tired to keep up with their crazy conversations.

It could get really insulting and rowdy and one of them was going to go home crying and I certainly didn't want that but with the type of sisters I have, I guarantee you it will happen. I just know.

Walking into the adjoined bathroom, I turned the faucet on, the hot water flowing down the shower. I stripped off my pajamas and tied a scarf around my hair so it wouldn't get wet.

I stepped in, closing the door and grabbing my loofah off the rack. I lathered it with my dove warm vanilla and shea butter body wash. I gently rubbed the loofah against my body enjoying the feeling against my body although I knew I had to be quick.

I washed off the soap buds and took care of my hygiene. Wrapping a towel around my body, I reached out for my sink rag and wiped down the fog from the mirror.

Grabbing my toothpaste and toothbrush, I turned the faucet and ran my toothbrush under the water and squeezing a pea of toothpaste on it.

When I was done brushing my teeth, I grabbed my mouthwash and gargle it up for a minute and spit it out.

I cleaned my mess In the bathroom and washed my hands before walking out to my adjoined room. My steps halted in the middle of the room when  a particular item caught my attention.

I made my way towards it and picked it up from the floor. Tears formed in my eyes and I couldn't understand why I was still getting emotional. I mean I did but why was I even crying. I thought I was over it for the week.

I held the blue baby romper close to my chest as my knees buckled from underneath me making me fall to the floor. Feeling the soft material between my finger and I got flash backs of my baby wearing it

I spent nights questioning the universe why I had to lose so many babies and the one time I think I can finally have it all, it is snatched out my hands once again.

I was beginning to think the world wasn't being fair to me and didn't want me to have my happy ending I've always dreamt about as a child. I know i didn't deserve none of the situations I was in but I couldn't help but feel it was my karma for hurting somebody. But I know in my heart, I've never done nobody any wrong.

Gathering enough strength and deciding that I was done crying for the day. I wiped my tears and slowly stood up from the floor. I walked to my dresser and grabbed my cocoa butter lotion. I squeezed a handful on my hands rubbed it on my body.

Finishing up, I opened my drawers and pulled out random undergarment because I honestly didn't have time to be matching.

I slipped on a random dress and I took a glance at myself in the mirror and I didn't like what I saw. The dress was loose on my body but before it would be super tight.