BEST THING

XXVI

AMARUS POV

The worst day of my life had come. The day that would always be impaired in my mind and I couldn't wait for the day to be over.

I got out the bed and made my way to the adjoined bathroom in my apartment. I pulled out my hardened dick and peed. When I was done I flushed and walked to the sink, washing my hands and then grabbing my toothbrush.

As I grabbed my toothpaste, Áine's toothbrush fell. I cussed to myself as I picked it up. I hadn't spoken to her in days after out little confrontation or whatever you wanna call it.

I wasn't trying to come off rude or nonchalant but damn I'm a grown man and I wanted to settle down. To do things right this time if I ever got married and had children

I know I couldn't force her to like me back and I wasn't going to do that. Another thing I wasn't going to do is look for somebody who is going to be a quick fuck because I had plenty of those and I was done with that life.

I rinsed my mouth and put it back. I hopped into the shower and cleaned myself up. I had a long day ahead of me and I couldn't wait for it to be over.

I was finally going to visit my mom at her graveside as well as my ex wife and daughter. I hadn't been in a year.  This year was such a tough year for me. I couldn't walk half the year. Went through a depressive stage in my life where I wanted to kill myself, found people who wanted to take my money and not even help with my healing process.

I felt like shit that my wife and daughter died while I survived. It should've been me, that's all I tell myself. I should've been the one to die but I didn't. I didn't mean to sound ungrateful but damn, they lost their lives while I survived.

I hopped out the shower, wrapping my towel around my waist. I walked into my closet and rumpaged through my clothes. I grabbed my black joggers and matching black crew neck sweater.

I walked to my dresser and pulled my boxers and grabbed shea cocoa butter moisturizer on top of my dresser. I lathered my whole body and grabbed my cologne, spritzing on my chest, feeling the cold sensation.

When I was done, I dressed up and grabbed my phone off the nightstand and headed to the kitchen. I didn't bother grabbing anything to eat. I had no appetite either. I just wanted to get this day over and done with.

Locking up my apartment and headed to the elevator, my phone dinged in my pocket.

merry Christmas papa

I looked at the message from Áine and I felt my lips twitch a little bit. I know she feels something for me but is too scared to admit it because of her past relationship. And I don't blame her. She has every right to feel that way but I wanna be the right man for her.

I want to give her the world and everything in it. The others can fuck off.

merry Christmas babygirl❤

I texted back. The elevator dinged, indicating I had reached the basement. I headed to my car and got it. I waited for a few minutes for the car to warm up. As the car was warming up, I replied back to Áine's text.

yeah, I will be there

When I was done I placed my phone in the cup holder and drove out.

•°•°•

"You ready?". My father asked me as we; him, Noonie and I sat outside the cemetery where our mother was laid to rest.

I reluctantly nodded my head. I haven't been here since my incident which made it a year or two ago.

Noonie got out the car with the bouquet of flower. White lilies were her favourite. My dad would bring them for her whenever they had date nights