CHASING SAPPHIRE🔞

Chapter twenty three: a glass of water and emotions, part 2

~Vincent~

"I can't say I had a crush on you in middle school, but I did grow fond of you. Like I'd get worried if I didn't see you in school, to the extent that I'd ask the principal. When I saw you sitting alone in the cafeteria, I'd want to go sit next to you, but I didn't want rumours, I'd always want to ask you why you weren't smiling, but I didn't want to seem like a hypocrite cause I wasn't too. The day I got expelled for breaking a boy's nose, I felt ashamed to let you know, which I why I said a casual goodbye. I didn't expect to meet you ever again, though I most wished I did and look at us, I guess fate has a weird way of working."

"Right. On the contrary, I actually had a crush on you, huge one" I say and she laughs, her laughter turning to a soft smile, which slowly morphs into a deep frown.

"My first ever crush was in high school. Derek Mayhem. His last name says it all, I guess" she lets out a dry laugh, but I don't find it funny, I finally have to hear about the Derek guy.

"I was kinda bold, considering I didn't have a care in the world and he was this golden boy of the school, it was my first year in high school, he was a year above me, most intelligent, hottest and all, he was pretty much perfect and I fell for his charms, his looks, his brain, his words...we dated for a year and were pretty much the cutest couple in the school, he even made me open up and smile more, then I was sure I loved him, and he loved me too, he never failed to show me that. After some time in our second year, he started acting different, then all of a sudden he wanted sex. I mean, I couldn't blame him, he was in his junior year, I was a sophomore, he obviously had peers influencing him, so I gave him my virginity, I didn't like it one bit. I thought sex was supposed to be fun, I wasn't a fool, of course I knew there's always some pain in your first time as a girl, but this was different, he wasn't gentle at all.." she chokes on a sob and I hand her glass of water, patting her back.

"Baby, did he, did he hurt-"

"-Oh, no he didn't. I could tell he was pretty much confused, he was inexperienced, so it took a toll on his actions. That didn't stop me from fearing sex though, so one night we fought, because he said he wanted to have sex and I didn't. So I walked out of his house and went to a party, ps. His parents were never around. At that party, I was drunk, stoned even. All I remembered was waking up the next day, naked beside a guy, Derek's best friend, he was naked too and I started to cry, but even know I didn't remember anything, I didn't feel sore, I could swear that we didn't have sex. I snuck out and went home. Brian was yelling at me. Asking where I went to and I told him what happened. All from the day I gave Derek my virginity, he was about to leave the house and kill Derek, literally, but mum stopped him. We spoke and she was disappointed in me. I felt really bad. I went to school that day, of course..Met Derek, but all he did was avoid me. I finally got him a corner and asked him what was wrong. Then he blew up. Motherfucker fucking blew up" she doesn't cuss, she must be angry

"You can stop..."

"..No, I'm fine. I'm cool" I was not, I was livid.

"He said his best friend showed him pictures, pictures of us together. I told him to show me the pictures, but he refused, saying if I really wanted to see the pictures, that he'd have to put it on the school platform, that I'd see it clearly there. I begged him and said I didn't need to see it anymore. He broke up with me on the spot, I begged him, telling him that we did nothing, because I was just so fucking sure that nothing happened between us. I mean, I felt nothing. I cried, reminded him that he promised he won't leave. He didn't listen to me all he did was walk away, telling me how much he hated me, he cried, saying I hurt him. I blamed myself for weeks, steal a bottle of alcohol from my dad's cabinet every night and get drunk off my ass and cry myself to sleep, waking up with a hangover the next day. It was like a routine, go to school looking like shit while he looked perfect as usual, but he was always one to hide his feelings, so I thought it was all a facade, that he was also hurting and it broke me even more. Then one day, I was passing biology lab, I got detention, can't remember why, but it wasn't really a big deal. But, I left school real late. I overheard them in the lab, then they were kissing, I saw them with my own eyes, the fools left the door open. That was when it all clicked. It was a set up, just to give him a reason to break up with me, he was fucking gay and he didn't know how to tell me, maybe he was bisexual or whatever, but he liked his best friend and that meant something, I felt I was just so much of a horrible girlfriend that I made him turn to the same sex. I blamed myself even more and when I saw him pull his zipper down I turned away and left. Immediately I got home, I told it all to my mum."