Forced to Love

Chapter 4

I could see the hurt written on Mari's face. 

I told her all about my mother and sister, and to be honest, it felt good to finally let it all out. I did talk about it with my dad, but not that often, only because I didn't want to worry him and also because of my mother threatening me if I did something about it.

Mari gently stroked my hand as we were swinging back and forth on the wooden swing by the lake. I wiped my tears with the back of my hand and took a deep breath, closing my eyes and just enjoying this now peaceful moment. I couldn't help but let myself cry as I was remembering all the harsh words or doings by my mother and sometimes my sister.

My sister was never physical with me. She has never hit me or hurt me in any way. She did that with words, and it was not easy taking it from her. From my mother I could take it, I didn't care about her that much, I knew from a young age that I wouldn't get the love that a mother should give to her child, but from my sister it was painful.

I loved my sister. I looked up to her until I came to know her true colors. We were always close when we were kids. Even though my mother showed her hate towards me since I remember, my sister and dad weren't like that. 

Caterina would protect me when my mother would hurt me. She would stay in my room with me while I was crying and questioning why my mom doesn't love me. She would always secretly play with me when my mom wasn't around or near to scold her about spending time with me. She was always there for me until that changed.

I can't remember when exactly she started being distant from me, but the more we grew up the more she started acting like our mother towards me. And once again I was questioning what is so wrong with me to be treated like this by the people I love.

I felt a new wave of tears filling my eyes as painful memories started filling my head.

 Flashback

"Clean the table and the dishes, and don't you dare put the dishes in the washer, I want them sparkling and clean by your hands" my mother ordered me after finishing with her dinner. I nodded and went to collect the plates and glasses from the table that she and my sister left. I put them in the sink and start washing them.

As I reached for the soapy glass that needs to be rinsed with water, it slipped from my hand and fell on the floor now shattered into million pieces. I quickly squat down to pick up the pieces but hear someone entering the kitchen.

"What the hell are you doing?!" my mother yelled.

"I-I'm sorry...I accidentally broke the glass" I quietly reply, not daring to look up at her.

"You are unbelievable. Do you know how much that costs?!" she yelled again. I didn't move, scared to do anything even though I wanted to talk back. I mean it's just a glass, does she have to be like that over such a small thing. But I kept quiet, I didn't want to get into more trouble by my talking.

I wish my dad is here. This wouldn't be happening if he was at home. She never dared act like this towards me when he is around.

"You are good for nothing" she hissed. "You're not even capable of cleaning the dishes, you annoying brat," she said as she stepped on my hand, the pieces of glass digging into my skin and coloring them red.

I winced but she didn't move, she only stepped harder making tears swell in my eyes. "Clean this mess up, that's the only thing you're good at" she let out and walked out of the kitchen. I felt a tear slide down my cheek as I plucked the pieces out of my skin. I collected them all and threw them in the trash. I opened a cabinet and took the first aid kit and treated my hand. At this point, I knew what I should do when cleaning wounds and cuts, I had a lot of them and they all came from her.