Diurna Times

↳ Scars To Your Beautiful

Written and banner by: 9ice_for_what 
Edited by: RRislife 

You're too fat. SHAPELESS

You're not pretty enough. UGLY.

Those were the comments I got when I attempted to live life. I used to have friends. Used to.

What went wrong?

I don't know.

All I do know is that I used to have loving friends, who didn't care about how I looked, or acted, or talked. Heck, friends who didn't even care if I wore a trash bag to school— they'd probably join me.

Then, people started telling me that I was getting out of shape. The popular girls told me that I was too ugly to even climb the first step of the popular pyramid, the popular boys told me that I was shapeless, and even my crush rejected me.

I never used to care, but all of a sudden, I started to. I wanted to be like the girls you saw on magazine covers, I wanted to be noticed, I wanted to be loved.

So, to achieve this, I started my journey to perfection.

I would starve myself all in the name of being skinny, I would pack up my true face with make up all in the name of beauty, I would wear tight and revealing clothes, all in the name of being noticed. It went on for months.

I joined the popular table, I hung out with their friends. Finally, I found my crowd.

Or so I thought.

At this point, my friends were still talking to me because it wasn't as bad as it later turned out to be, but I guess they were already starting to notice my change in behavior. I was too, but then, all that mattered was beauty, being among, and nothing else.

Soon, my friends shut me out completely. They stopped talking to me and cut all contact. I thought I didn't need them but I was very wrong. My new "friends" soon resumed with their insults, but this time mostly about how skinny and ugly I was. So I came up with a perfect solution.

I have to stop eating.

I need to be beautiful.

What's a little bit of hunger?

And so I did all that. But then I noticed I wasn't getting any better, and resorted to self-harm to ease the disappointment. However, that only made things worse as the people cut contact with me when they noticed, and therefore I was left friendless. I felt even more inferior.

But then, one day, my story changed for the better.

I was in the school bathroom looking at myself in the mirror thinking: Where did I go wrong?

That was when my friends walked in and surprisingly, talked to me. Elaine was holding a box of wipes, Luna with a bag, and Cora held a trash can. I remember their words like it was yesterday:

"Blythe," Luna spoke and I looked up, my watery eyes meeting her dark ones, "Why are you doing this?" she asked, searching for an answer.

My friends were looking at me like I wasn't the Blythe they used to know and I really couldn't blame them for that. I had to bow my head so I wouldn't die of shame.

"It wasn't supposed to end this way I swear! I just want to be beautiful, and be loved, and be skinny, and fit in! I just want to be enough! Is that too much to achieve?!" I cried out but Cora only laughed.

"Now that's where you're wrong," she said, "If fitting in is your definition of being enough or loved, then you're wrong. Why blend in when you were born to stand out?"

Elaine continued this time, "Blythe show me your beauty."

I slowly moved my hands to the makeup on my face, "T-t-this"

The three of them laughed this time. It was more of a sarcastic laugh than anything.

"Look...nobody can touch their true beauty because it's inside of them. Your scars don't define who you are, it's not about the outside, the inside matters more. Good looks are like toppings to it, and girl, you need to wake up cause you're hella pretty. Why change anything about yourself just to please others?" Elaine asked.

"Let us be your mirror again, this mirror—" Cora paused to point at the mirror, "Is fake because it's showing you what you want to see. As true friends, we know that this isn't what you are meant to see. We want the Blythe without makeup, the Blythe who can finish three boxes of large sized pizza without bothering about how much weight she will gain, the Blythe who laughs at her own flaws saying 'it's part of life'. The name Blythe itself means beautiful, so let us help you see clearer"

"I really do have a feeling that it's the makeup that made you blind. So we'll start with that. Here,'' Elaine offered me some wipes, "Start it yourself."

I reluctantly collected the wipes from her and hesitated before I started wiping the makeup away, all while trying to convince myself.

I am beautiful.

I am enough.

I don't have to change anything.

Because I am worth it.

I finished wiping the makeup off my face and threw the used wipes into the trash. I changed my clothes into comfortable ones that Luna brought inside her bag and I walked out of the bathroom feeling a little better already.

What? Rome wasn't built in a day.

I am beautiful.

I am enough.

I don't have to change anything.

Because I am worth it.

It is confirmed.

"So to you all, you heard the moral of my story. My name is Blythe and I want to be your mirror."

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This short story was based on Alessia Cara's 'Scars To Your Beautiful'

The feeling of fitting into society is not only a situation for girls but for boys as well. If you can relate to this, know that you can't be loved when you don't even love yourself. True beauty begins the moment you start being yourself so DON'T BE LONG WHERE YOU DON'T BELONG

ABOUT THE SONG

Alessia Cara told Mike Wass in an interview for Idolator that, "Basically, that song is about body image. It's directed at women, but I think men can relate to it as well. It's just a song about these things that certain women go through on a daily basis in order to feel loved or in order to love themselves."

Billboard noted on this track, "Body-positivity anthems typically don't get this dark, but on 'Scars To Your Beautiful' Alessia Cara isn't afraid to talk cutting, tears and eating disorders, before getting to the uplifting chorus, where she delivers some of the most empowering, horizon-expanding lyrics of this year: 'You don't have to change a thing / The world could change its heart.'"

"Scars To Your Beautiful"