Pulse

beat fifteen

A week after, Ace and Eden sat in a booth of the small coffee shop near by. It had a homey feel to it, with welcoming, big cushions and wooden walls. The black carpet was in contrast with white daisies decorating every corner of the room, as well as various plants everywhere. The big windows provided a lot of light, the lamps on the ceilings seemed pointless, but this gloomy day, the only thing that came through the windows was a poor, gray spark of something that you could barely call a light.

Eden leaned into the pillows, breathing deeply and smelling the cinnamon candles. She was wearing one of Ace's sweaters; a pale blue one. He just handed it to her, saying it was too cold for her ripped sweaters. It was soft and it smelled fresh and clean.

A hot cup of bitter coffee warmed her palms. She was worried sick about the grandmother she left back in the apartment, she didn't dare call it home, and Ace assured her she'd be fine.

A elderly man with chocolate-like skin sat in a booth next to theirs. He couldn't help but notice the poor creature cuddled up in the cushions, her eyes red and sleepy, her skin pale and transparent, and a ugly scar stretching across her jaw. She tried sipping on the coffee, burning her tongue every time, and the boy in front of her, who didn't notice the man staring, didn't take his gaze off the girl.

Eden's eyes slowly travelled to Ace, and he held his own cup of coffee in his palms, but his was sugary and sweet. The old man knew what they ordered by the smell and color of the beverage, which showed not only his lack of anything to do in life, but years spent drinking coffee and observing everything around him.

"What are you thinking about?" Ace asked her, taking a sip from his drink, successfully hiding that his throat was burning.

"Stuff," was Eden's reply. "I wish I didn't have to think."

"I wish I could make you stop thinking," Ace said quietly, and if Eden wasn't listening intently, she wouldn't have heard it. She knew there was one thing he could do to make her stop thinking, and he knew it too, but they were both too afraid to admit it to each other.

"Do you have a mom?" Eden asked suddenly, catching Ace off guard.

"Yes," he responded a few moments later, not knowing where she was going with this. But with Eden, you never really knew.

"What's she like?" she asked, not looking up at him, but through the window onto the foggy street.

"Why?" he responded with a question.

"I don't remember mine," she said, "and I want to know what yours is like."

Ace nodded, not knowing how to start this. Eden never mentioned her parents, so it was strange for him to talk to her about this, because even though he knew about them before more than she probably did now, when Eden's memory left her, all the links in her life fell apart and crumbled to pieces, leaving Ace clueless about who those people even were.

"She's kind," he started. "And she is always worried about me and my siblings. She is always smiling, even when she is sad. She loves everyone, and she always cares, and that doesn't always do her good. And I think that everyone loves her too. I just wish she'd think about herself more than others."

"She sounds," Eden said, stopping, because she didn't know what else to say. She didn't know what adjective to use for such a person, because she didn't know people like that.

Ace smiled at her, taking her hand across the table. She looked up at him and gave a small smile. They didn't need to exchange any more words, they knew that the simple gesture meant more than any word they could say.

The man was still there. He still looked at them, and he wondered what possibly could be going on in the lives of those two kids that seemed to give more than they had and receive more than they deserved.

"What about your dad?" she asked.

"My dad is away a lot," Ace said. "I never knew why. I guess he just works far and doesn't mind being alone."

"Is he kind and all, like your mom?"

"Nah, he's an asshole," Ace admitted, and noticing Eden's confused expression, he let out a chuckle and ran a hand through his hair. "Cares only about himself and thinks that if he sends us money every month that it makes him a good dad. That presents for birthdays mean more than a pat on the back and an 'I'm proud of you, son'."

Eden knew that when Ace spoke so bitterly, which wasn't that often, that he was hurt. She looked at him with no pity in her expression, because she knew how it was to receive it and she knew he wanted none, and she simply sat on his side of the booth and gave him a hug.

Ace was surprised, but he didn't show it. He hugged her back and kissed the crown of her head, running his thumb in circles on her shoulder.

The hug didn't magically make them feel better, but they pretended it did. Like they were both pretending things for a while now.

When she sat back in her seat, the dark-skinned man reached their table. First, he just looked at them, and then he quietly spoke.

"Don't you ever think o stars?" he asked them.

"Stars?" Eden asked after a while.

"Yes, stars, the exact ones you see every night when you look up, and the sky is clear. The ones that seem so far away, and are just these tiny specks of glitter on a black surface."

Eden was intrigued by the way the man spoke, and Ace looked from the man back to her.

"You see, those exact stars, they shine light-years away, and when we see them, they aren't even there, they aren't existing anymore. Some say that, those stars, are like humans. That they shine after they're long gone. But they seem like they are right there, right now. And you're certain that they are, because they're always there when we look."

Eden was completely invested in the man's story, but Ace was completely invested in Eden. He couldn't comprehend that there, right in her eyes, were stars that shone more brightly than any he could see on the night sky.

"So looking at it like the stars are always there, like they never fade, like they watch over us- if you had one of those stars in the palm of your hand, what would you do with it?" the man asked, looking at Eden and leaning on the table as clouds of smoke left his lips.

"I'd give it to someone," Eden said quietly, and the man's gaze skipped to Ace and back to her, to which she nodded.

"And you, would you give her a star?" the man asked Ace, his attention now fully on him. Though Ace never looked away from Eden's eyes.

"I wouldn't have a star to give her," he said, "because, look at her eyes. All the stars are already there."

And the man left, they don't know when. And all Eden wondered was why Ace said all those beautiful words that weren't meant for people like her.

+

"Does Alice ever ask herself why she ever left Wonderland?" Eden mumbled, half-asleep.

"I don't know," Ace replied.

"I want to ask her," Eden says. "But the rabbit always rushes everything."

In that moment, when she was half asleep and half awake, Eden released her inner child. Ace wondered if she wanted to walk barefoot, and color her hair in bright colors and dance in the rain. He asked her, and she did.

"But sometimes you just have to make the child fall asleep until you're ready to wake it again. That is, if you don't forget about it."

+