Pulse

beat seven

Dialing the number Ace had told her, she was filled with curiosity. He said a woman was asking for her, and since Eden didn't know many people, not many would ask for her.

He had left just half an hour ago, saying he'd be back as soon as he could. He brought her some food and bottles of water; she knew she couldn't protest she didn't need any help when it was obvious she did.

She felt bad that he had to do so much for her; even though she couldn't really stand on her own feet, she at least wanted to try without someone's help. But it's not easy with two broken legs.

"Hello?" the voice at the other end of the line sounded.

"Um, hello," Eden said. "I was told I was asked for?"

"Eden?" the woman's voice said, sounding quite shocked. She heard the screeching of a chair and the woman's deep breaths.

"Um, yeah?" she replied. She was sitting cross legged on the couch, tugging at the bottom of her old jeans.

"You're alive," the woman said in disbelief.

"Apparently," Eden replied.

The woman at the other line was quiet for a while.

"Eden, do you know who your parents are?" the woman asked. Eden's breath hitched.

"I think that you are in no position to be asking me these questions. I do not know who you are, and I do not wish to speak of this over the phone," Eden said quickly before hanging up. Her head was hurting. Her eyes were stinging and she couldn't control her breaths.

She rushed to the bathroom, but there was no water. She took a water bottle, splashing her face, trying to calm herself down, but the rate of her heart was getting out of hand.

She quickly reached for the top shelf and took a pill, swallowing it dry. She sat at the edge of the bathtub, pressing her palm to her forehead. She was damned.

***

"Miss we have to inform you that by the rate things are going, not even an operation can help," the nurse told her, showing her a bunch of papers.

"You mean it's over?" Eden asked in a whisper. The nurse's sympathetic eyes were glued to her. 

"I'm afraid so," she said. "The only thing you can do is either take her home or let her spend the rest of her couple days in here. Her brain is now practically made out of the tumor... There is no way. I'm sorry."

So that's why she was home. Not even the money for a surgery could make it better now.

Eden blamed herself for it; she cursed herself every minute for not getting the money faster- in any way. Nana laid on the couch, wrapped in blankets, surrounded with pillows. She slept a lot, but when she didn't, Eden had to get the same story to her every time; that she is sick and she needs rest and that Eden is here to take care of her and won't hurt her.

"It's not your fault, there is nothing you could do," Ace told her.

"I should've dome something, I could've saved her," Eden protested.

"Eden, sometimes we think we can do things that are over our heads. It wasn't your fault," Ace assured her. But at the same time, it seemed more like he was assuring himself rather than her. But she didn't question it.

Sometimes nana would scream. Other times she'd cry. But the tumor was consuming her brain so much she started hallucinating, seeing various creatures in every corner of the room and both Eden and Ace had to chase them and kill them.

"You look just like my son," she'd tell Ace.

"And that girl I see every day, she looks a lot like my granddaughter. I told her mother that it wasn't a good idea to let her go for adoption, you know. I think I've had no other choice than to take her to myself. It's a shame she died," nana would say. Eden listened in from behind the doors, and it stuck to her; why did everyone think she was dead?

Her days consisted of taking care of nana; she rarely went to school. The teachers and headmaster knew about her problems at home, so they didn't push it; they all thought Eden lived with her parents too. No one knew she never even knew where her parents were, let alone if they were alive.

Ace came every day. He'd make sure Eden was okay, that she ate and that nana ate. Eden had told him he didn't need to put that kind of pressure and worry upon himself, but he insisted it was not a problem and that he enjoyed her company.

Eden didn't realize why; she was not fun to be around. Being around her was as pleasant as sitting on a bed of needles.

Ace stated otherwise though. She had no energy to argue.

Though not even Ace knew that Eden herself wasn't okay. She was far from it. It was visible that she was emotionally barely stable, but there was something seriously wrong with Eden; something not even pills could fix.

And in between taking care of her grandmother, struggling to catch up to school and working odd jobs when she could; Eden Eeks was bound to break.

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Eden's journal; snippet no2

If what we want is what we need, and we don't, then why do we want it?

Ace. Ace Wyatt. His name, it tastes so weird on my lips. But it's comforting. He's comforting.I'm saying, whispering, singing his name over and over again. It's so beautiful. He's so beautiful.

Today he told me I was beautiful. I think he's starting to become insane.

Do I want him? I think I do. Do I need him? More than I know.

Then why do I feel so bad for needing him? Maybe, it's because I know that he doesn't need me. Why is he here then?

There is so much questions I want to ask. But I don't think there is enough sense in me to muster to answer them. I don't think anyone can.

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