Pulse

beat twenty-two

Here is a long chapter to pay off for  the  times it takes me too long to update. Brace yourselves, and be suspicious.

"I would say that you are free to go home, but I think there is something you've forgotten to tell us," the nurse said. Eden sat at the edge of the bed in her hospital gown, looking down at her dangling feet. Her hands held onto the edge of the bed, her shoulders tense. The doctor and nurse didn't allow anyone in the room except immediate family, and Eden didn't want either of the two women inside.

Her gaze traveled from the nurse to the doctor who looked at the papers in her hands in pure concentration. She recognized the doctor; she had seen her when she would visit her grandma. It turned out to be a good thing that she was in this hospital, because it was where Ace volounteered, and it brought peace to his soul- as he said- just to see she was safe and taken care of. He would visit for a few minutes every hour, just poke his head through the door and smile.

Eden raised her eyebrow, questionably. 

"Have you been taking any medication?" the nurse asked. Her voice was kind, almost like she was over-doing it, but her eyes were cold. She did not mind, though, for she was not used to kind people.

"I stopped taking anxiety medication a month and a half ago, but I still take it when it gets too much," Eden murmured quietly, like she was embarassed of what she was saying, but both the nurse and doctor heard.

"Have you been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder?" the doctor asked, not looking up from the papers, still.

"Yes."

"When?"

"About the time I woke up and didn't, you know, remember," Eden said, her gaze fixated on her dangling feet. 

"And you were given depression medication, considering your suicide attempt," the doctor said, but in a rather questioning tone, as if asking for confirmation.

"Yes, but I didn't take them for long," Eden admitted.

"Why?"

"They didn't kill the sadness and pain. They just made me numb," Eden explained, and the doctor nodded.

"You know, sometimes I would rather feel the pain than nothing at all. Because pain makes me aware that I am still alive, I think. And when I couldn't remember anything, pain felt... Familiar?"

The doctor nodded, taking her gaze off the papers for the first time. She looked at Eden with an almost pitiful expression, and Eden grimaced.

"Have you been having severe anxiety attacks?"

"I think, um, yeah."

"What did it feel like? Where did you feel it?" 

Eden thought. "I think it was like a flutter in my chest, I was dizzy, lightheaded, I don't remember if I fainted. I took my anxiety meds, and it took time to work." She was suspicious as to why the doctor was asking her these question with a suspicious tone, and she was a little alerted.

"Eden, your anxiety attacks weren't anxiety attacks at all," she explained, sitting beside her on the bed. Eden glanced up at the doctor.

"You have a heart arrhythmia. The term "arrhythmia" refers to any change from the normal sequence of electrical impulses. The electrical impulses may happen too fast, too slowly, or erratically – causing the heart to beat too fast, too slowly, or erratically. When the heart doesn't beat properly, it can't pump blood effectively. When the heart doesn't pump blood effectively, the lungs, brain and all other organs can't work properly and may shut down or be damaged."