Pulse

beat ten

Halfway through next week, the days were getting visibly shorter. The sun rose late and disappeared early; which meant only a couple hours of daylight, and a lot more of electricity used- especially since it was getting colder.

Suddenly, the idea of snow was far more a beautiful dream and a cruel reality. It would be peculiar if it, just like every other beautiful dream she's had, would become true; would actually be as magical and marvelous as she imagined.

It was a chilly day, and as she came from school, she rushed up the three steps of the building. Unlocking the door and pushing them hard, she walked inside her apartment, the only jacket she had wrapped around her. The flat was barely any warmer than outside.

Her hands ached from the cold, and she quickly went to nana's room to see her staring at the ceiling.

"I'm home," Eden said quietly.

"I heard," said nana. "You call this wreck a home?"

"The closest I have to it, since I.. lost someone close to me," Eden said.

"Who?"

"My grandmother," Eden sighed. Nana's face was overcome with sadness.

"I lost a daughter," she said. "And granddaughter. To be honest, she was a spitting image of her mother. Such a shame you know? Losing such beautiful people with beautiful souls."

"Yeah," Eden whispered, sitting on the edge of her bed.

"I don't remember my mother," Eden said. "I wish I did though." There was a long silence after that. They didn't look at each other, just enjoyed each other's presence. That silence made Eden feel more like she saw in the woman laying in her bed more than just the face of her grandmother. Like she was with the same woman she was three months ago. The same woman that saved her from self destruction and provided a better life; why couldn't she do the same for her.

Soon, nana fell asleep. Eden just stared at her, past the wrinkles on her face and tried to imagine her young, and beautiful and innocent. She had so many stories in her, always; and now, with her memory, they will be lost. She forgot Eden easily; was it really so easy? If she died right now, would everyone else forget her as easily too?

Eden walked to the small bathroom and stared at the mirror. Tired eyes and sickeningly pale face and messy dark hair. Bags under her eyes and scratches on her arms, the veins in her neck and her arms visible.

Her eyes lingered once again on her scar on the right side of her face, stretching from her ear to her jaw. She traced it, her fingers ending up on her cracked, rosy lips. A breath left her lips, fogging the mirror.

"Such a strange reaction to such beauty," a voice spoke from the doorway. She didn't have to turn to see who it was.

"Brutal lies," she commented. Turning towards him, he leaned on the doorway, his hands deep in his pockets, eyes fixed on her. His shirt was black, his jeans dark, his hair messy. He looked dazzling.

Though tired, too. Even tired looked good on him.

"I don't lie," he said. "Not to you at least." She wanted to give him a hug, but at the same time she didn't. Torn, she just stood in the middle of the tiny bathroom, looking him in the eyes.

"I can't stay long," he said. "I have something to do. Just wanted to see if you needed anything."

You, she thought. "I'm all good," she said. He nodded.

"Today I realized what your name meant," he said. "What?" she asked.

"Paradise."

+

a poem Ace left on Eden's couch

eyes, deadly

needles,

stuck down my veins.

risen from the ground

she stands tall

bent like a widow

weak as a leaf

flapping in the wind.

she brings peace

though she possesses none,

bruises and scars

like jewelry

adorn her body.

can't get enough

though

forbidden.

she's a paradise

for my soul

holds a empty part

for me

to place my love.

though scared

and weak,

easy to break,

she's paradise.

the kind you find

only once.

+