Pulse

beat nine

Ace didn't come that day. Nor the day after. It was almost evening, and Eden wanted to tidy around the house; except there was no energy left in her. She was working all night; the bar around the corner, Scream, that sells drinks to anyone, where every possible law has been broken. Only there you could buy drugs for a low price, do anything you've ever wished to do; rumor had it, there was even a human trafficking agency in the back.

But that was the only place where Eden could get a decent pay; so, for the sake of herself and nana, she stuck with it. And it wasn't pleasant, nor fun-- in fact, she hated it with a passion. But there was no choice. There never really was.

Nana has been stable. She didn't have any attacks, though there was no signs of her memory getting better. Until then.

Eden had just changed her blankets, since the last ones were getting dirty. She'd sleep with them, as log as nana had clean ones. She had no sheets to change, so it was useless to do anything else. As Eden tucked her in, the woman raised her hand and removed a few strands of hair from her face, tucking them behind her ear. Eden didn't move. Nana traced the scar, reaching all the way from her earlobe to her jaw.

"She'd look like you," nana said. "If she had survived the crash. She'd have the same eyes, and the same high cheekbones. Sometimes it hurts more that she could see me like this than not seeing me at all."

"Nana," Eden whispered. "It is me." She was desperate. For just one familiar glance, one little spark of comfort and familiarity.

"Don't be silly, girl," nana said.

"I am," Eden pressed. The woman eyed her again, as Eden sat at the edge of her bed.

"You do look like her. But I was at my Eden's funeral. I saw her coffin getting lowered in the ground, as well as her parents'. You're not her."

Eden's eyes were blurry. Her grandmother closed her eyes, saying she wanted to rest. Eden nodded, getting up and leaving the room. Walking out in the dark living room, she let a little tear escape her eye. Looking out the window, the sun was beginning to set down, so she sat on the arm of the couch, leaning her back against the wall. She looked at the various magical colors filling out the sky.

Beautiful, and bright, but here for only a moment, then replaced by the dark sky. The whole beauty lasted for a few moments; and she wondered if she'd ever get those moments, getting out of the dark.

So she just sat there, she just sat in the dark, and the weight she carried on her shoulders was almost unbearable. Though she didn't admit it, not to anyone nor herself, it was too much for her to carry; it was all just too much.

Staring blankly ahead, she absentmindedly murmured a melody; the same one she'd heard over the phone that night. The same one that kept her heart beating.

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a letter glued to the fridge

I saw you were sleeping, so I didn't have the heart to wake you. I brought you some food; don't argue with me over that. We both know you need it.

Sorry I didn't come, I've got a lot on my hands. Stay safe, I'll see you soon.

-A

P.S. You look cute when you sleep.

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