Queen of Air and Darkness

vii. a terrible perpetual motion

To say that the ride to Sunagakure was easy would be the worst lie imaginable. Sakura could not stand the cold of the forests, the heat of the desert, or the perpetual wind in her face. It seemed to blur together into one endless discomfort. She felt exposed, riding in front of the 15 members of the guard that Kakashi had tapped for the mission. As they set up camp, she was ruthlessly aware of her lack of experience; the easy way each of the group pitched their tents made her slow, meticulous pace look like the word of a child.

Or maybe, the real source of her discomfort was the man beside her. She and Kakashi had not spoken of the night before their departure, but as a squire, she was obligated to ride next to him. In place of Tsunade, he was her commanding officer. She was not a member of the guard, who were not nobility but commoners from unlanded families that had entered service to the crown. As such, she was expected not to integrate herself into their force but stand separate from them and align herself with Kakashi- a knight and officer.

Which was proving challenging to do after their last, fraught interaction. They barely spoke during the day, except for moments where Kakashi imparted knowledge that might be useful for her future travels after she was knighted. It reminded her, irritatingly, of her page days, when Kakashi would lead Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke on field missions. It was like being splashed with cold water after the even-handed way Kakashi had treated her before their journey.

In the quiet of their rides, Sakura shifted through her memories of that evening, searching desperately for what it had meant. Why had he pushed her away so suddenly, when he had been the one to touch her face? She had been forward, yes, to try to wrest control of the situation, but she hadn't thought she was misreading his signals. Or had he simply been disgusted by her forwardness? It was generally considered unbefitting for young noblewomen to make the first move, or pursue men with any kind of obvious interest. But as Sakura was a squire, she was not the traditional noblewoman, and the rules were slightly different. Wilting flowers could not last long in combat, and so the usual wilting behaviors of noblewomen were cast aside.

The mystery of the reason for Kakashi's rejection followed her as she went through her morning tasks: packing her tent, preparing for the long ride, eating a light camp breakfast with the rest. As a squire, Sakura should have also been in charge of Kakashi's tack, but he had waved her away, denying her the traditional responsibilities of a squire.

In the evenings she wordlessly ate dinner around the fire with the rest of their traveling party. Kakashi was able to joke easily with the member of the rank and file. For all that he was a member of the nobility and their commanding officer, he knew these people well. They had fought together on other missions and shared an easy rapport full of inside jokes. Sakura had none of this.

As a squire, she was expected to one day become either an officer in the military or a lone fighter who patrolled the countryside. Nothing of Tsunade's education had prepared her for participating in the day to day life of the guard. That night, Sakura sat across from Kakashi, examining him through the crackling light of the campfire. She searched his expression for signs of discomfort—she was beginning to grow used to his awkwardness. But here, surrounded by members of the guard, he was at ease.

"Something on your mind?" Kurenai, the one woman of their group, sat down next to Sakura. Sakura flushed in embarrassment having been caught with her attention so intently on Kakashi, but Kurenai did not even glance in the Knight-Captain's direction.

"No," Sakura lied. "Well...yes, but only the usual things."

At that, Kurenai's perfectly colored red lips curled up in a smile. She was lovely, feminine despite her rough life and lightyears ahead of Sakura in experience: of both the battle and feminine variety. "Oh do tell," Kurenai said. "I'd love to know what the usual things are."