All for Love [Completed]

Chapter 26

**Shida Mirai POV**

I woke up the moment the light from outside hit my face. It was the first time I ever felt fully rested. Waking up not from any nightmare nor from an alarm clock. Today, I just woke up just because.

And it felt really good.

I looked around the room where I was at. It was clean and bright, with aesthetic pastel colors and dim lights. It smelled of relaxing lavender incense and I can even hear the faint chirping of birds and the flow of water somewhere from outside.

I breathed in and closed my eyes for a brief moment, I guess I'm finally back...

Honestly, I don't know if I'll be relieved or if I'll die of sadness... I'm back in my condo unit, where I used to live before the accident.

I didn't live with my Dad nor my sister. I remember I stayed here the moment I came back from America after finishing my business degree. And I remember the reason why now...

"Why can't you be like your sister?!"

"You're the reason why you're Mother is gone!"

Images of the bitter and painful past came flashing in my mind at that moment. And I couldn't help but hold my head and shout because of the pain.

It's not my fault! I didn't want that to happen! I didn't wish to be born!

Those were the thoughts that tried to drown my painful past. But it wasn't enough, it was never enough.

"I didn't want this!"

"Mi-chan!"

I suddenly felt a tight embrace, with the all too familiar masculine scent mixed with the fruity smell of Italian bergamot, French apple, royal pineapple with smoky birch, and patchouli.

Yutti's favorite perfume.

"Creed Aventus..."

"Your favorite"

"Your favorite"

We said in unison. Even with my tear-stained cheeks, I couldn't stop myself from smiling.

"You love that scent that's why I came to love it as well," he said seriously staring at my face.

"I remember how much you snuggled close to me back when we had our vacation in France, just so you can smell me," he said chuckling.

I looked at him and saw him looking at me lovingly, like how he used to over all these years.

And I had to look away...

I had to look away not because I don't remember that memory, but because I do. And I knew now that my selfishness is something he held on to as 'love'.

I remember I was a bit clingy with him ever since we were kids, and I even thought it was because I love him and I didn't want him gone. But now I realize that it wasn't actually the reason.

I held on to Yuto because he was the only one I ever had. I was selfish, I wanted him to stay with me and to love me because I didn't want to be alone. All this time, it wasn't because I was in love with him... It was actually because I knew he was in love with me and I wanted him to never stop loving me and not leave me.

Unlike my father who cursed me for being born, for blaming me for my mother's death when she birthed me. Unlike my sister, who was always the best in my father's eyes, and everyone else.

I was selfish. And I couldn't look at Yuto straight in the eyes, because I now felt guilty of causing him to hurt all this time.

And it wasn't just with him. I've been causing pain and suffering to everyone around me since I was born.