Pride

Chapter 11

Bonnie stared down at her lap feeling numb and empty. She had done the one thing she promised herself she'd avoid. She couldn't believe that she had actually kissed Arcadia... Not only was Arcadia a girl but Bonnie was also very happy with Zack. It just didn't make sense to willingly cheat on him... He was funny, sweet and although he wasn't the brightest he always had Bonnie's best interest at heart. He was all anyone could ever want... So why couldn't she just like him like she was supposed to?

It wasn't like Arcadia was someone she should want to be with regardless of gender... Arcadia was unstable and reckless. She was the type of person to get into fights and she didn't seem to care about anyone, even the people who claimed to be her friends. That wasn't somebody Bonnie wanted to be associated with, much less wanted to date. But then she pictured Arcadia running alongside her. She saw her laughing heard her light teasing. And most of all she felt her lips against hers.

Kissing girls was everything Bonnie had thought it was and more. She hadn't minded kissing Zack... She didn't see the big deal in kissing for the longest time until she had kissed Arcadia. Her lips were soft and cool to the touch. Her arms had wrapped around Bonnie's neck and her bright smiles in between kisses were enough to send Bonnie's heart racing. She wanted to relive that night over and over as much as she wanted to pretend it never happened.

She closed her eyes and tangled her fingers in her hair, tugging at the ends in frustration. Everything was going so wrong. She should have just let Arcadia fight Matt and his friends then everything would be fine. Sure, Arcadia would have a few bruises but she imagined that she could outrun them and Bonnie had seen Arcadia kick boys asses in the past. It would be routine for Arcadia and Bonnie would be content with last night never happening.

"Bonnie, can you give me a ride?" Tj asked as he pushed open Bonnie's door, not bothering to knock.

"No, tell our moms that I'm staying home from school... I don't feel good" Bonnie lied. Tj gave her a puzzled look and Bonnie knew just how weird it must sound. Bonnie never missed school if she could help it. The last time Bonnie missed school she was in the hospital after getting her appendix removed.

"You alright...?" Tj awkwardly asked, shifting slightly at the doorway in discomfort. Bonnie shook her head 'no' receiving a long and awkward stare from her younger brother. Tj wasn't necessarily good at handling emotions. He kind of just stood there and awkwardly patted people's backs. But maybe that was enough... Tj and Bonnie were close and she knew Tj would support her regardless. And maybe it wouldn't hurt to finally tell somebody.

"I kissed Arcadia" Bonnie quietly admitted. Tj was quiet for a few minutes which sent Bonnie's anxiety through the roof. That is until he took a seat beside Bonnie on the bed and pulled her into a long hug. Tears swelled in Bonnie's eyes and she quickly hugged him back, burying her face in his hoodie. "Please don't tell Zack... I'll figure things out with him on my own but I need a minute"

"Family first, Bon... You know I'd never say anything" Tj promised. He finally pulled away from Bonnie and brushed her tears off of her cheeks before grinning in satisfaction. "Look on the plus side, you can finally add to the movie nights list with me, Mama, and Mom" Bonnie snorted at that.

Every weekend Bonnie and her family watched a movie or two together. Tj and her moms had a game where they shouted dibs every time an actress from a combined list of their celebrity crushes walked onto the screen. Whoever had the most points at the end of the movie got to pick what restaurant they ordered takeout from next week.

"Shut up" Bonnie laughed despite tears still streaming down her cheeks. Maybe everything would be okay... She still had her brother and her moms. So maybe that much would be enough.