so mom kicked steve out after almost ten years of abuse and mistreatment, i remember mom saying that im not allowed to talk to him as he was leaving. well i did because i saw a final opprotunity to get back at him once and for all. i went outside as he was loading the truch bed with all his shit from the garrage and i said to him that i wish he could change........ i mean can you ever get a more messed up statement after what he did than that? well he told me one thing that i never though him capable of saying but he did and that was ''i fucked shit up here im leaving but i dont want you to be like me its your turn to be the man of the house now dont let you mom down succeed where i never could''. i took this at alot less than face value and he left and i never have seen him again to this very day. now a few years later i found that he truly meant what he had said to me that day that it was his only way that he knew how to apologise and try to make ammends for what he did, but it didnt work. i am proud that he tryed and was man enough to do that but it was too little too late, at that point the damage was done. i tryed to make things right with mom at fourteen years old and found out that she just wanted to forget never to forgive but to just forget. i cought mom smoking outside one day and didnt say anything to her about it but wondered to myself who had been smoking for almost 3 years at that point how to help her. mom always told me she prided herself on quitting before i was born so i could be born the healthyest possible but now here she was smoking and she hadnt done so for over 14 years or so i thought. turns out steve smoked 24/7 like a chimney and ended up getting mom smoking again at some time. and that was just the beggining of the stuff he caused to happen after he left the next part will be on my struggle with the staying out of the cops radar.
