my life started to go down hill when i started getting arrested. mom sterted to get fed up with what i was doing and how i just blatently disobeyed the rules and laws. she ended up calling the cops alot and i became known to the neighborhood as the ''lil thug'' and a punk ass bitch who got the cops sniffing around where they didnt need to. my neighborhood was pretty bad as far as drugs went, at least seven out of ten houses had or are to this day participating in illegal activitys. anything ranging from prostitution to crack houses. for my town it was pretty bad considering maine is known for being very rural and ''hick like''. well anyway my neighbors ended up getting pissed at me for bringing the fuzz around and i started to get cussed at and not welcomed where before i would get a free soda or candy bar at the store at the top of the hill. people started to not really give a fuck what happened to me weather i was alive or dead. so i sterted to act the part and put up a front of not giving a shit eather way. i got to a point in my life that i felt like i could not continue and i thought about killing myself, i even went so far as to write a suicide note for my mom. in the end i just could not go through with it i felt like i could never change myself and i would always be a bad person. i went to sleep that night and didnt do anything. the next morning i hid my note so mom would not find it and went on with my life trying to find someone who cared and i could care for but keeping up my front so i wouldnt get hurt. i did this for a few months until mom cleaned my room and found the note. i got home one day and she asked me why i had written this and that was the last thing i expected when i walked through the door after a long day at school. i didnt want to explain how i felt or why i felt that way then but she kept pressuring me to tell her and assured me i could talk to her about anything. so i told her and she called the police and said i was suicidal and claimed that i had just written it and attempted to take my life. the police took me to a hospital for a psycheatric evaluation. they determined that i was normal and just had a really severe depression attack that night and i was ok to go home. mom actually came and picked me up that time and acted like she was sorry for what she did even bought me a subway sandwich. next thing i knew a few weeks later i was being brought to a group home in a coastal maine town and that just happened to be three hours from my home. i got very angry i tryed to tell my DHHS worker that i didnt need to be in a home i needed to be in my home with my mom even though we didnt really get along so well. she said this is how it was going to be that my mom didnt have any parental rights anymore she controlled my life now. she said if i could get my shit togather and work on my issues i might eventually be back home and living with my mom again.
