this part is focused on what the law did had has done for me and and some of how it has worked against me in my battle with finding out who i am and struggling to change it. some of my stuff i thought i could handle on my own but it bit me in the ass HARD! one instance is when i was about fifteen years old i was just starting to get used to him not being there but with him not there i started to realize there was nobody to keep order and keep me in check. i realized that if i got grounded it wasnt like before where he would make sure i was in my room and never left the house now all i had to do was just walk out the front door whenever i pleased, after all who was going to stop me my mom? i wanted to have some fun i ddnt want to be locked down anymore i had someone else control my life for ten years i wanted to break free and now i had my chance. mom and i got into a arguement about something that i dont remember and she told me to go to my room and stay there for the night. i told her that i was the one in charge and i would do as i pleased and she would need to learn to accept it and if she didnt she would not see that much of me so for her it was a kind of ultimatium be a good mom and protect her child or not lose him like she ''lost'' steve. she ended up choosing not to lose me and letting me do what i wanted but that was the last thing she should have done all it did was provide me with trouble later in life. so i went to my room and waited until she went to sleep and walked out the front door, as far as i knew she didnt know and on the way home in the morning i picked up a new pack of smokes. mom woke up right as i was walking in the back door and she said if i ever did that again she would call the cops and let them handle me. now keep in mind that steve was a local cop so i was scared shitless at that point but it onbly worked for about two weeks and then i went out again and sure enough she called in a missing persons report, all i did was go to the store for chips and a soda. i got back to my street and walked down the road to the sight of three ploice cruisers in front of my house with all the neighbors looking at me walk down the street, the minute they saw me i knew i was screwed they pointed and said there he is and i waved and walked into my house. the cops wanted to talk to me and i said sure, after all i did nothing wrong at all, so i talked to them and they threatened to take me in to be processed and i got pissed and said ''for what i went to get a snack'' and they said ''you had no permission to leave your house'' where i said back ''its my money and my house and i wanted a snack so fuck off!'' i picked up my xbox360 controller and the cop snached it from my hand and i started yelling at him and he decided i was unsafe and ''mentally unstable'' so he cuffed me and took me to EMMC for a psych eval. i was stuck there for three and a half days before someone came to get me. that was one of the first times i ever met the cops other than steve. i instantly hated the cops and wanted nothing to do with them. this kind of thing happened many many times but it got a litle worse every time. the next part will be a intermission to the story.
