Hamilton / Lams Oneshots

A Childhood Story (Laurens) [Historical]

A/N: Sorry for this short, boring Oneshot. I hope you get some satisfaction out of it anyway.

When I was a young boy, my family lived in the country. We had a fairly large garden, and since my father never really liked us getting into his way, me and my siblings spent most of our time playing outside, stick fighting or attempting to catch the grass hoppers that came by in the summer. Overall it was a good time, we came inside for dinner each evening and did our schoolwork by candle light, which our father scolded us for not doing earlier.

One evening specifically still stands out in my mind. It was early June, and the weather was already very warm, characteristically so for South Carolina. I was 12, or a little bit older than that, and I was sitting under one of the cherry trees in the backyard, watching my younger siblings play with the neighbor's cat. I didn't feel like joining them, I had spent the entire day dreading my schoolwork, at that point it was threatening to spill over me and kill my spirits, not that my father would have let me get through with that.

"Be careful you three!", I called out, but before any of them could listen to my advice, the back door opened, and my father waved to us. "Come inside, it's time for dinner!", he called out, and I quickly got up, not wanting to get scolded for sitting on the dirty ground. It seemed that he was in a good mood, or he simply didn't notice, because he let us inside without a word, and we all went to sit down at the table.

Dinner was uneventful, with father asking about school and us answering as truthfully as possible while at the same time tweaking the answers to please him. It was not until after everyone had finished eating that I found myself in a bit of a tricky situation when he told my siblings to go upstairs before sitting down in front of me. My heart was beating quickly as I tried to recount whatever mistake I had made that day, but none came to mind, and so I just stared into the concerned face of my father.

"Jack", he said to me, "I've noticed that you haven't been as focused lately, is there something wrong?" I was genuinely surprised seeing my father concerned with my wellbeing, and even though I knew he was more worried about my studies, it gave me a feeling of familiarity. Shaking my head no, I wondered what he was getting to.

Father put a hand on my shoulder, and though I wasn't very good at guessing expressions, I knew he was serious about what he was asking me. "Jack, be honest, do you have a crush on a girl?" Looking back now, the question is a lot more serious than I had taken it at the time. At that age, I still believed what my father told me, about how I was spending so much time on studying that it was only natural for me to not be all too interested in girls, that it was something to be proud of.

"No sir", I answered, and he seemed to sigh innerly, wether of relief or disappointment was unclear. Shaking his head, he stood up. "Well, I hope you get back on track, son. It's very important that you learn, and don't ever fall behind." I nodded, hoping to be let off with that warning, and he gave me a disapproving look before turning and leaving the kitchen. I ran upstairs as quickly as I could, without making too much noise and earning me another lesson on discipline, and went to my room.

Leaning with my back against the door, I had to take a few deep breaths in order to calm myself. There was a strange heaviness in my chest that made me panic a little, I felt like I wanted to cry. Instead, I walked over to the desk, and pulled out the homework that I had left for the day. This would help lighten the weight in my chest, I said to myself, and started working, eager to fulfill my father's expectations, hoping it was the key to the fulfillment that he always promised. I'd go on to make fatal mistakes with that logic.