Modern Empathy ~ a Patrick Stump Fanfiction

Songwriting

Back at school, we started studying a new unit in creative writing—songwriting. Our assignment was to write our own song. After practicing first, I got new ideas for my next workshop performance in that class. I could turn my journal entries into a whole book, make a theme song for it, and eventually, it'll become a movie on DVD.

My first journal entry was on December 17th, since my therapist recommended it to me, and that I didn't have to be all consistent with it.

Looking back, I remembered writing about meeting Patrick. The entry said: I didn't stalk him. It was all dumb luck.

I smirked. I decided those words would be the bridge of my song assignment.

I remembered that ever since I read Patrick's blog, I would cry every time I heard What a Catch, Donnie. I thought that if my song could turn into a real song, I'd have it sound a little like What a Catch, Donnie, only one semitone down.

After I finished my Algebra 1 assignment, I took a look at Patrick Stump's blog to get inspiration for my new workshop performance.

And the piece came out as:

I tried everything I could do,

But all I have left is bottles pelting me.

I was drowning in my sorrow deeper than ever

After all I did to rehabilitate!

I walked the fervor of the anger

From those who loved me before.

The barrage of, "We liked you better fat,"

The threatening letters and words from those who loved me

Came out to ill will me.

I was crushed and torn,

Broken into pieces,

If you really knew me,

All I ever wanted was to be

The happiest of who I was

As I went out alone.

I pulled all of my money

Only to fall.

The cynical minds of those who ripped me

Told me to disappear forever and never return.

I can stay

And I'm sorry

I will never be the one I was before.

I hate living to know that I make people angry.

My self esteem is broken,

As is my whole heart.

Where do I go?

I know you hate me

Since I'm still around somewhere.

I'm out there hanging and trying.

I don't know what to do anymore.

I tried everything I could do,

But all I have left is bottles pelting me.

I was drowning in my sorrow deeper than ever

After all I did to rehabilitate!

The barrage of, "We liked you better fat,"

The threatening letters and words from those who loved me

Came out to ill will me.

I was crushed and torn,

Broken into pieces,

My self esteem is broken,

As is my whole heart.

Coincidentally, I didn't know what to write anymore. I thought to myself, Oh, well. Time to practice.

Practicing the chorus was the hardest part. It was very heavy and emotional for me as well. My workshop performance was scheduled to be on April 27th, on Patrick's birthday! I was sure that as long as I gave him credit for inspiration and for his blog post—and a birthday present—I'd be fine and wouldn't have to edit it for Mr. Fox.

I decided I didn't need my journal entries for the workshop after all.

After many days of rehearsing the workshop, the official day of my performance came. I thought I would mess up from getting emotional, but in the end, over half the class cried, but it was nonetheless a big hit.

"I remember you telling me about Patrick." said Stella. "I'm so glad you made a song about his blog."

"This is so sad." said a junior named Lily. "I feel bad for Patrick Stump, too. You did really well explaining his story song-style."

"I am unaware of the lead singer of Fall Out Boy's blog post, but I can say, good job explaining it in your own words." said Mr. Fox. "I can say it's based on a historical event, and the way you put it was that he was trying to achieve new things in his career, there were those 'people' who were trying to bring him down, and succeeded, and it's causing him anxiety. Isn't that it?"

"Yes, it is." said Lily. "I read it, too. I cried. Did you cry, Zoey?"

"I cried myself to sleep, man." I said.

I couldn't believe it. I received so much praise from my peers, and after school, I sent Patrick a birthday card, and that night, I went to Burger King with Emily. It was one of the best days I had in my life.