You Rock My Heart

I guess I'm just a bit tired...

It was nearing one o'clock and Seonghwa was still making the band run through practice. Everyone wanted to succeed but it seemed greatly unnecessary to keep pushing through night after night. Yet no one wanted to complain as Seonghwa was definitely on edge. So the practice continued.

"Hey Mingi can we run your part near measure 58 where you come in with the transition? I think it's a little slow."

"Yeah sure hyung. Sorry about that. I guess I'm just a bit tired," Mingi said with an embarrassed smile.

"Oh you're tired?"

Everyone went silent. They hadn't expected Seonghwa to snap so easily. Mingi looked around for help but everyone stood still, Seonghwa's gaze baring into him.

"If you're tired why don't we take a break? Why don't we have Yunho set up a practice room for you to sleep in? You know what? I bet you're all tired. Why don't we all just take a nice long break and get some sleep?"

The energy in the room gotten very tense, and Yunho and Wooyoung didn't dare say anything.

Unfortunately, Mingi didn't pick up on the change in tone.

"Really? That's really nice of you Seonghwa hyung! I think if we take a little break then we'll be well rested and ready to start agai—"

"Fine! If everyone here hates practicing and improving and wants to lose this competition just go ahead and leave! If you're too tired to keep going we can just stop practicing and give up? Would you prefer that?"

"Well of course not—"

"No don't torture yourselves for me, you can just go home. There's no point pushing it if you don't care enough to work hard."

"Hyung, he didn't mean to complain it's just the fifth time we've stayed past midnight this week. It's understandable if he's a little tired," Yunho said quietly, unable to watch his friend get attacked on his own.

"You don't think I'm tired too? I'm just as exhausted as all of you, if not more exhausted! Do you even know how much work I put in for this group?"

"We know hyung. More than any of us. We really appreciate it you know that—" Wooyoung tried to calm him down but it seemed like nothing was going to work.

"Just get out of the fucking studio. I have real work to do and if you don't want to help just let me do it myself."

Silence filled the room and Wooyoung and Yunho made eye contact. They nodded, knowing the best thing to do was to let Seonghwa cool off tonight. Yunho grabbed his and Mingi's bags and signaled for him to follow. Wooyoung paused as he was about to follow the two and turned back to Seonghwa.

"You know we really respect you hyung. We want this band to succeed as much as you do, we just need a break now and then. I hope you can understand. Have a good night." He turned and walked out, leaving Seonghwa alone.

Seonghwa slammed his hand into his music stand, sending it flying to the ground.

"Dammit!"

He sank to the ground curled his knees into his chest. Why did he need lash out at them? Obviously they were tired! He had been struggling to stay awake all practice! His bandmates had been nothing but supportive and yet all he could do was find reasons to get mad at them. Of course they wanted to succeed just as much as he did. Tears started pouring down his cheek and he bit his lip to hold back sobs. He kept pushing them away and now he was just isolated. He didn't have anyone to talk to because when his members tried to help him he went on the attack. He was back at the studio alone in the middle of the night. Not that it was unusual anymore. But not that he ever really enjoyed it. Just then he got a buzz on his phone. It was probably Wooyoung checking on him. Why were they so nice to him when he was nothing but mean? He didn't want to answer but picked it up to check.

———

1 New Message
hongsong🎶

hongsong🎶 sorry to bother you
you're probably working 😅
i'm just working on a project
again and i thought maybe if
i was feeling lonely you might be too 😅
if you want to talk at all
or we don't have to!!
it's totally your call!

———

Seonghwa chuckled as he fought back more tears. He was so cute. Why would anyone waste time waiting around for him? He was just a hot-headed workaholic and that was the end of it. What redeeming qualities did he even possess? Though he was unsure if he even deserved the friendship, Seonghwa couldn't help but get excited to talk to Hongjoong again. He felt incredibly selfish but he wanted to be worthy of having such a caring friend and he wanted to feel appreciated even when he knew he didn't deserve it. So with a shaky breath, he typed back.

———

hongsong🎶

angrybird🐣 im actually feeling pretty
down right now too...want to meet up at
raise a glass again?

hongsong 🎶 i was actually thinking
something a bit more fun if that's okay
i'll meet you outside of the bar and
lead us from there
if you're good with that??

angrybird🐣 that actually sounds
really nice 😅
it might not be good for me to
go out drinking right now

hongsong🎶 are you okay?
want to talk about it?

angrybird🐣 not really
i'll meet you there in a few

hongsong🎶 ofc no pressure
see you then 🤗
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