The Loser's Guide To OC Reviews (OPEN)

"To Coffee & Chocolate: you are my dads, you're my dads! ʷᵒᵒᵍⁱᵉ ʷᵒᵒᵍⁱᵉ ʷᵒᵒᵍⁱᵉ!"

Our first OC by -_Aloe-Vera_-! Thank you for the submission. Let's begin!

Joke; To Coffee & Chocolate: you are my dads, you're my dads! ʷᵒᵒᵍⁱᵉ ʷᵒᵒᵍⁱᵉ ʷᵒᵒᵍⁱᵉ!

(Nice joke. /gen Our first ever submission and it's my current obsession let's go-)

Name: Mocha

(An original Food Soul, nice.)

Nicknames: Chococoffee

(Do people call Mocha ((The drink)) this? Odd.)

Age: Unknown

Species: Food Soul

(It's understandable that her age is unknown, given that Mocha is a Food Soul.)

Gender: Female 

Sexuality: Bisexual (Female Lean)

(Bisexual gang let's go!)

Status: Alive

Ethnicity+Race: Food Soul

(N/A would have worked just fine, given you already stated that. Or maybe 'caffeinated drink' since she's Mocha?)

Face: Blue eyes, tiny nose, glasses that can turn black.

(Could've been more descriptive, but alright.)

Hair: Black hair with a blonde streak and a rose as an accessory.

(Is her hair straight? Curly? You missed out on an opportunity for talking more in-depth.)

Body: Ectomorph

(Skinny and tall. Again, you missed out on talking about her height and weight, but the bare minimum will have to do.)

Additional: thick legs

(This feels like this form was submitted as some sort of joke, like you aren't too serious on making sure your oc is up to par.)

Strengths: Making Coffee from memory and helping out in the restaurant

(Helping out in the restaurant isn't really a strength. What would've worked better is talking about the positives she'd get from working as a waitress- Like being fast on her feet or something. And making coffee from memory- Like, pouring in cream and sugar from memory, or buying the beans, crushing them, etc. from memory? Neither are really strengths..?)

Weaknesses: Taking things as a joke and controlling her anger

(By 'taking things as a joke' did you mean she's very serious? The other weakness seems contradictory given her "Strength" at helping out in the restaurant, seeing as she has trouble controlling her anger. Wouldn't that cause problems for Coffee as the owner of Satan's Coffee House?)

Likes: her gay fathers (coffee & chocolate) and drinking coffee (the drink)

(LMAO "her gay fathers". Jokes aside, surely there's more that she likes than that, right?)

Dislikes: Creme Brulee (the food soul) & being stressed

(Creme Brûlée is another one of your oc's, right? Being stressed seems like a normal dislike, but there's no way she doesn't have a lot of dislikes. Nothing came to mind? Nothing at all?)

Hobbies: Writing and making coffee

(I'm tempted to argue that making coffee isn't really a hobby, but seeing as how she's a waitress at Satan's Coffee House, I suppose I'll let it slide. But otherwise, the hobbies have the same issue with  the Dislike and Likes; She only has two hobbies? I can't list off the top of my head how many hobbies I have because I have so many. Seeing as how she's a Food Soul, I'm tempted to give her a pass, but still... Give her more things that she likes to do.)

Additional: She is the waitress of Satan's Coffee House

(Does she also do the missions? Again, missed opportunity.)

Backstory: her master attendant freaking died to creme brulee (another food soul oc) and she stayed at satan's coffee house to cope

(When I said it was alright for the backstories to be short, I didn't expect them to be this short, but hey, at least it's something. Anyways, why did Creme Brûlée kill her attendant? How did she find the Coffee House to begin with? A lot of things are missing from this backstory to make room for the shortness of it.)

(All in all, I'd give her a 4.5 out of ten. So much is missing, and there's so much work to be done before I'd say she's complete. Thank you for submitting.)

[Posted April 27, 2021. 9:11]