In My Dreams

Chapter Thirty-Two

Ada

It's been two weeks since I last saw Jaxon's and today is his art gallery open evening. During that time, I've been back to work which hasn't felt the same since Gemma left the office. We've spoken on the phone a handful of times, I've shared my woes while she's shared her celebrity gossip. I've enjoyed hearing her voice. I never realised how much I missed her until now.
Richard has been in and out of the office, he hasn't really said much to me when he has been which made the weeks seem incredibly lonely. Jaxon and I, well, we haven't really spoken a lot since that Saturday in the car park. He meant it when he said he would give me the space that I passionately cried out for. We've shared a few texts here and there but nothing to get excited about.
I am anticipating seeing him tonight. There will be many of his supporters turning up so I'm going on the assumption that I won't get to speak to him as much. I've not seen or heard from Alex which has been an added bonus, I am however still looking over my shoulder wherever I go.
Standing in front of my full-length mirror trying to find the perfect outfit to wear tonight from the five different dresses laid out on my bed. I've given myself too many options which is making this decision arduous. I want to look sexy but in a sophisticated way, I want him to see me. I try on a black long-sleeved midi dress cut into a bodycon style with a key hole flirt cut out. It already has a wired bra sewn in which has a plunge effect for my breasts. I think I've found the dress, this is what I will be wearing tonight.
I feel nervous for him and also extremely guilty. I should have been the one to help him through this but instead he called on Jess. It was nice of her to help but really would she have said no? Pfft no, Of course not. Any opportunity to dig her claws in deeper.
I find dad sitting up at the breakfast bar eating a sandwich whilst reading the news on his beloved iPad. "Can I make you something to eat Kiddo? You need to put on a few pounds" He says peering over his reading glasses at me.
"I feel too nervous to eat. I'm not hungry." I admit and I also agree that I have lost some weight over the last few weeks. When I am nervous it is because what I am doing matters and I feel the need to get it right. Wearing the right dress, the right amount of make up and the perfect shoes. I know what my nerves are trying to tell me. I want him so much that the idea of not winning him back, destroys me.
"Why are you so nervous?" dad asks taking off his glasses.
"I haven't seen Jaxon for a while and now I'm starting to feel anxious seeing him tonight. He might ignore me." Pulling out a cheese string from the fridge, peeling littles pieces away.
"I can't imagine for a second Jaxon will ignore you. Your mother and I will be there so it's not like you're going to be alone." He claims sliding off the stool and placing his dirty plate in the dishwasher.
"Yeah I guess."
"I think you're going to need more than just a cheese string." My dad adds raising his eye brows before walking out to the living room.
"Where are the invitations?" Mum flaps and flusters.
"I have them in my bag" I yell out.
She places her hand over her chest watching as I walk down the stairs. "You are breath taking Ada." She says and dad stands by her side smiling.
Looking myself over for the last time, I comb through my hair with my fingers feeling sick to my stomach. I take a deep breath and walk out the door towards the car.

There are so many people inside, I can't believe how many people have turned up. A security man opens the door for us as he checks our names off the list. It's all very formal.
As the door opens I am immediately overwhelmed by the amount of people as the feeling of the walls start falling in on me. Fuck sake Ada pull yourself together. Alex will not be here, it's not the time to start freaking out now.
I push my way through the crowd where I notice a woman holding a tray of pink champagne. I take a glass and then I wonder around admiring Jaxon's paintings, professionally showcased on the wall then I approach the painting of me. I admire the metallic stars as I fight the urge to touch the textured paint.
"Hi."
A familiar voice.
"Hi." I nervously reply.
I turn my body around to face Jaxon who is every bit perfect wearing a grey suit and a white shirt without a tie. He looks me over from head toe and swallows hard, shifting uneasily on his feet.
"You. Look..." he blows out of his mouth. I have definitely chosen the right outfit.
"Thank you, so do you." He does, he looks seriously sexy. "There are a lot of people here tonight." I add looking around at all his different types of people.
"I know, I can't quite believe it myself. I didn't expect there to be so many." He says looking pleased for himself, and so he should.
An older lady rushes over to Jaxon and whispers something in his ear. Jaxon's eyes are wide and the biggest smile spreads over his face.
"Can you just excuse me for one minute?" He asks kissing me on the cheek as he saunters off, making my body tingle at the feel of his warm lips.
I sip at the champagne, walking around viewing his other paintings when I feel eyes burning into the back of head. I turn around to find Jess observing my every move from across the room. She's dressed in her usual slutty attire and I can't help but roll my eyes giving her a displeasing look as I turn myself away.
"Come with me" Jaxon whispers into my ear, taking me by the hand and leading me over to the painting of me. He places a sold sticker on the wall next to it.
"Someone bought it?" I squeal as Jaxon picks me up and buries his head into my neck. He pulls away not sure if he's over stepped his boundaries. I wished he kissed me instead.
"You must be Ada. I'm Serena." The older lady introduces herself and offers out her hand to shake mine. She is very glamorous for someone of her age. Her silver hair glistens under the studio lights.
"Did you hear the extraordinary news? This painting sold for fifty thousand pounds." She announces grasping her face with her hands in amazement.
"Fifty thousand?" I look back at the painting wondering who would spend that much money on a painting of a girl staring up at the world that was falling down on her.
"Jaxon is very talented, I am very pleased for him." She nods in approval at me and smiles. "Must be your lucky stars today. You exchange on the gallery and you've just earned yourself fifty thousand pounds. Incredible." She says as she walks away.
Now we are alone we stand here gazing at each other but neither of us know what to do. I just want him to kiss me. Just embrace me Jaxon. Please.
"You bought the gallery then?" I asked.
"Yeah, it all went through today. It's comes with a flat so I'm thinking about moving into it." He announces.
"Wow, I'm really pleased for you Jaxon".
He moves to me, closing the gap between us, close enough that I can smell a new citrusy aftershave. "Will you stay with me tonight? When everyone has gone, will you stay, please?" He pleads.
I thought he would never ask. "Yes." He smiles and lets out his relief. "Go. You need to talk to these people." I order him.
"Come with me?"
I shake my head. "Oh no, that's okay. I'm happy standing here sipping on this pink champagne."
"Please? I want to show you off. People are looking at you and I don't like it. I want them to know that you're mine." He swallows as the sexual tension between us builds.
"Then why don't you just kiss me then?" I suggested, my body trembles at the thought.
"I can't." He whispers into my ear. "If I kiss you, I'm afraid I won't be able to stop and then I'll have to fuck you right here, right now, in that ridiculously sexy dress you have on." He confesses into my ear; his heavy breath tickles my neck. My body tingles at the thought of it.
I take his hand and our fingers entwine. He leads me around the room, talking to potential clients of his. I allow him to introduce me as his girlfriend which felt good to hear but two weeks ago for a few hours at least, I was his fiancée.
Speaking to my parents who are elated when they see us holding hands. Dad was made up, he has his best friend back.
I need the loo so I leave Jaxon talking with an American man while I go in search for the ladies' room. I check myself over in the mirror and smooth out my dress. I apply some more red lipstick when I hear the door opening and Jess presents me with her presence eyeballing me through the mirror. "Is there something you want say?" I mutter, plumping my lips.
"Why are you here, Ada?"
"I'm here because Jaxon asked me to be here." I said turning around to face her.
"You have not shown any interest in him for weeks now. I'm the one that's helped him through this, I'm the one that's been here for him when he's needed someone..."
"And yet he still doesn't want you, does he?" Interrupting her getting straight to the point. "You help him and you turn up when needed but yet he still wants me. That must crush you Jess. Did you really think that you could trap him, make all these moves on him just so that he would forget about me? I know your game. I've known it from the start, I tried to be nice to you but it's not going to happen again. You might think that through all of this I'm just some heartless bitch that left him but the thing is you know nothing about mine and Jaxon's relationship. You have no idea what we've been through together. So, don't you dare stand there acting as if you know me, you will never know me. I will allow you to be friends with Jaxon but if you ever stand in my way again, I promise you, you will be sorry." I threatened, standing inches from her face. I smile sarcastically and brush past her shoulder as I walk out door.
I grab another glass of champagne in my passing, looking for Jaxon who is in deep in conversation with another client. I watch him searching the room as he finds me and smiles. I can't help but smile back as I see those dimples poking through from a distance. Jess scurries through the crowd with her coat, then whispers something in Jaxon's ear. He gives her a friendly cuddle and then she rushes off out the door. She's leaving. What a shame.
It's been a long evening but it's been enjoyable. Almost all his paintings sold and has earned himself a small fortune. A young girl comes around handing out more glasses of champagne to everyone in the room. Serena is standing on a makeshift stage then taps a spoon on her glass. Jaxon stands next to the small woman, ready to make a speech.
"I hope everyone here has enjoyed the evening so far. This wouldn't have been successful without you all and I appreciate your support." He takes a deep breath and continues. "For the amazing human beings who have paid for these paintings, you have given me the confidence to open up this gallery and hopefully become just as successful as Serena was. Serena, thank you for taking a chance on me. None of this would have been possible without you and I thank you so much for showing me your kindness and generosity, you have helped shape my career." He holds up his glass to her and takes a sip. "To my friend Jess who has sadly already left, she helped me through a rough patch and managed to save me from drowning so with that I owe her."
I hate her but she might deserve a little credit, I suppose.
"To my mother who has the flu, she couldn't make it tonight but I know that she was desperate to be here. She still has all the art work I made from nursery, preschool, reception, infants, juniors, senior you name it she still has it all, she has always been my number one fan. To my other parents Mel and John, you don't know how much I've appreciated everything you've done for me all those years. Buying me paints and brushes when money was hard to come by. I owe most of what I am and what I've achieved to you both" He raises his glass and takes another sip. "And finally, Ada. The love of my life. You are the only reason why I still exist. You have been my reason for living all these years and I thank you for keeping me going and for giving me a purpose and the encouragement to pursue my dreams. Anyway... fuck... enough of the heavy stuff" He says laughing through his nose. "Thank you all for coming here tonight and please have a safe journey home. Cheers" He says concluding his speech, he raises his glass once more and takes the last sip of his champagne while everyone celebrates him.
For him to say I am the only reason why he still exists upsets me. I wonder if he ever felt like ending it all. It's not even worth thinking about.
I wait impatiently for my mum and dad to leave who are chatting with Serena. Serena says her last goodbyes to the place as her husband dramatizes dragging her out the door. She touches the walls and taps them and leaves.
"Are you ready Kiddo?" My dad asked.
I look awkwardly at the floor "I'm staying here."
My parents grin at the pair of us and roll their eyeballs "finally" they exasperate. Dad smiles and kisses me on the top of my head. "I told you he wouldn't ignore you." He whispered.
Jaxon pulls the shutters down on the door and puts the alarm on then leads me to the flat upstairs.
It's empty, there's no furniture in here other than a bed that's illuminated with tea light candles placed around the mattress. His warm breath tickles my neck. He caresses both sides of my arms with his fingers and softly kisses the top of my shoulder. The tiny hairs on the back of my neck stand on end from his touch. I've longed to feel his lips on my skin for so long now, this moment doesn't seem real. His hands travel down to my hips and pulls me closer to his body.
I turn myself around and pick at one of his buttons on his shirt.
"I love you" He whispers tucking my hair behind my ears then gently tilts my head back with my chin, bringing his lips closer to mine and softly kissing me.
"I love you." I whisper, my eyes gloss over with tears and one escapes my eye. We kiss again only this time our tongues meet for the first time. The desperation heats up between us and things get out of control very quickly.
I tear off his shirt, the buttons burst off everywhere as they are tossed across the room onto the floor. I unbutton his trousers and pull down the zipper, then his trousers voluntarily fall to the floor. He unzips me from the back and my dress falls to a heap on the floor, and my breasts show case their own gallery exhibition. Jaxon growls at the sight of me, and sweeps me off the floor, on to the mattress. He lays on top of me gazing into my eyes with so much fire and passion.
"You are so beautiful. I've missed this." He whimpers, wasting no time guiding his length into me slowly. My mouth forms that perfect O shape whenever I feel him pushing inside me, touching all sides make me feel full. My eyebrows arch when he starts thrusting and circling his hips, digging deeper and deeper inside.
Tears start to fall from the outsides of my eyes as the pleasure and love overwhelms me. "What's wrong." He whispers while he wipes the tears away with his thumb.
"Don't stop." I pant.
He thrusts in harder knowing exactly what it is that I want but he does it slowly. I can't feel anything else all my senses have been taken away, leaving me with heavenly pleasure of feeling him inside me, feeling how deep he is.
"Marry me?" He whispers
I take a moment to enjoys his words. Smiling that quickly turns into that perfect O shape. "Yes" I stutter as my body starts preparing for an extremely intense orgasm. "Yes." I repeat.
"Fuck, I think I'm going to come Ada. Are you ready?" He says picking up speed, ploughing into me harder, spilling into me as our bodies crumble together.
His eyes are so different in moments like these, softer than I knew eyes could be. He breaths heavily, looking into both my eyes. I trace one of his dimples with my finger savouring the way he looks at me.
"Stand up." He ordered.  Holding out his hand to help me up from the mattress.
I fix my eyes on him wondering what the hell is going on. He bends down to his rucksack and pulls out a little velvet box from a zip up pocket inside. He rises from the floor and slowly walks over to me not taking his eyes away from mine. He kisses me gently on the lips and then goes down on one knee, opening the lid to the small velvet box and presenting me with my pear drop engagement ring. "I literally thought I would never get to say these words to you ever again. Ada, I am so sorry. I promise I will never hurt you like that ever again. I need you in my life, I can't live without you in my life anymore. I need you here with me. I love you more and more each day even when you're not with me. Will you marry me?"
Tears fill my eyes and I can't help but giggle at the same time. "It seems I can't live without you either. Yes."
He pulls out the ring and gently places it back on my finger. "I'm never letting you go again. This is it now. Forever." He said.
"Forever" I echoed.
He picks me up from the floor and I wrap my legs around his bare waist. Our passion and desperation for each other ignites again for the second time tonight, catching up for lost time. He guides his length inside me again. This is going to be fun night.