In My Dreams

Chapter Forty-Six

Ada

The train is late this morning which has left many commuters shivering on the side of the platform. I stare at the lipstick stained lid to my takeout breakfast tea and remember I need to buy Jaxon's birthday present. I take out my phone from my bag and start searching for a baby's West Ham Kits to pass the time.
The train approaches ten minutes later and I just managed to make the purchase in time before the doors burst open for the waiting commuters to flood the carriages.
I perch myself next to a young lady who is also passing time by applying her makeup, being jolted and swayed as she sweeps black eyeliner over her eyelid. I sink back in the chair and close my eyes, playing out the day in my head. Today is Richards last day. The last day of being his assistant. The last day enduring his strangeness. The first day I finally get to meet my mysterious new boss. I can't say I'm looking forward to it, in fact my stomach flutters at the thought. I'm anxious, what will be my first words to him? Am I already angry at him before I've even met him? Do I question his and Jess's relationship? Fuck this is all so confusing, I have no idea what to do about this or what to think.
I take a deep breath and embrace the final moments of being on this train while it creeps into its final destination.
Approaching the building with caution, hesitating to push the heavy door, I look up at the building briefly just like Richard did yesterday morning before entering and pray this day will go well. I'm looking into Richards bare office, he isn't there slumped over his desk like I thought he would be. It's just me and his boxes that have been stacked up against the wall behind me, ready to be collected and removed. I've thrown my bag down on my desk and jump at the screen of my computer when it comes to life.
My heart twisted and sunk as I slump down in front of my computer when the realisation sets in that this has been the day I've been dreading for so long is finally here. I've been pulling at the waist band of my skirt a few times this morning, my cheeks become flushed and my body instantly feels uncomfortable. I'm aware that my clothes are tight, I should probably think about buying some maternity wear soon.
I've read through my emails to waste time but I'm starting to wonder where Richard is and if he will even turn up today. Then visions of him being drunk again into another coma leaving me here to deal with this all by myself. He wouldn't, would he? Maybe Jaxon was right, me quitting my job doesn't seem the worst idea anymore. Packing this all in is becoming more appealing and being a stay at home mum. It's a quiet lonely place when its only you alone in the office.
I take a walk into Richard's empty office and admire the brightness of the room, something I have never noticed when being in here. I'm Standing by the large window that is overlooking a small court yard for smokers, I allow the sun to shine over me warming my skin. As I look around the room, there are a couple more boxes on top of his desk that should be piled with the rest of his other boxes. One of the boxes appear to be full of sentimental value like old football trophies, old coffee mugs and photographs. A silver framed photograph of a family photo of Richard and his wife holding their new born daughter lays on top. I can't help but notice their smiles and the joy captured in a split second but has it all been a lie?
I find another photo frame, this one is wooden, like a dark oak effect but kinda old looking. It's a photo of a football team, men in their early twenties maybe. I laugh through my nose when I see Richard posing in a goalkeeper's kit with his skinny legs on show looking like they could snap like twigs. I scan through the rest of men but my brain stutters for a moment when my eyes take in more than they should do on one particular face. Every part of me goes on standby while my thoughts catch up with me. This surely can't be. I blink a few times to try and erase what I think I see before me.
Alex.
There standing by the side of Richard is Alex.
There are times where I thought the world was slowly disappearing in front of me and right now is one of those moments but only this time I feel like I'm fading away with it. My lungs feel empty like they are suffocating, burning more like. My heart is hitting my chest so hard and so violently that it could rip through my body and out my skin. The black hole in my head is swallowing my hopes and dreams as realisations hits me, I am never going to get away from any of this, from him. There is always something or someone tying me back to him.
"Ada?" Richard stands at the door of the empty office, looking sharper and groomed this morning, like I've always known him to be.
"What is this?" My voice shakes as I wave the photograph out for him to see.
"I can explain," He cooperates moving closer towards the desk but instinctively I take a step back. "Don't be afraid of me." He pleads.
Just as I was about to ask him to explain all this shit, a lady from HR walks through the door. "Richard, we are in room five D." She announces with a smile.
"Okay, we will be right there." Richard acknowledges, waiting for her to be out of ear shot.
"It's not too late for you to get out of here. Things are about to get very complicated." He confesses. As he goes to say more, he is interrupted by the HR lady again asking us to hurry things along.
I have walked these halls for years now and not once have I felt the feeling where I wished I wasn't here. My heart definitely wants out my chest as I'm left fearing for what is behind door five D. The adrenaline is starting to flood my body as my legs start to shudder and my hands start to shake relentlessly. My eyes are wide letting in the bright fluorescent lights of the hall way. I want to run for the hills but instead I choose to stay where I am and face the music.
As the HR lady opens the meeting room door, holding open for Richard and I to enter, the room is empty revealing nothing but four empty chairs. "Please sit." The HR lady says, realising my hesitation and points to one of the chairs. I've chosen the chair by the window, it feels less claustrophobic this way but I can't help imagining the invisible jail bars on them.
I could tell Richard was flapping around indecisive which chair to choose too and finally he sits down next to me, the sweat pouring off his head like condensation on a window pane. A heavy silence settled over us. There's an uneasy tension in the room as the HR lady walks out marching the hallways waiting for what I can only assume is Chris to arrive. Our unsettle eyes glance unceremoniously, avoiding catching each other's gaze.
The palms of my hands are sweaty and my nerves make my legs shake so I cross them and glance out the window, watching people pass by with their files in hand, deep in conversation with their work colleagues. Seeing a group of friends trying to beat the green man, sprinting across the road as the traffic starts to move, avoiding death by a millisecond.
"Good morning new colleagues."
A man's voice echoes the room. That's when I saw it, the blurry reflection of Christopher in the window, however it's not the reflection that causes my body to shudder. It's the familiar voice that haunts my every being. The fear travels through my veins but I never allowed the fear to show in my facial muscles but I feel the colour being stripped from my face, this being the perfect moment when someone would say, 'you look like you've seen a ghost'.
My mind is starting to fail, like a car engine flooding its battery. My breathing becomes erratic, deep and then shallow but I fight it. I fight the feeling of shutting down completely. I close my eyes and take the deepest of breaths before I meet my new boss.
Alex.
"You must be Ada Rose." He says smirking. "It's nice to finally put a face to the person behind the emails."
I feel sick. Is it possible to have a heart attack out of pure fear? Because it sure as fuck feels like it.
"Are you okay Ada? You look like you've seen a ghost." The HR lady asks worriedly, pouring out a glass of water and sliding it over to me.
See, I told you.
"I'm fine. Thank you. Please continue." I say somehow mustering the energy, taking a large gulp of water and swallowing it hard.
Alex curls his lips and his evil eyes lock on mine. "My name is Christopher Alexander Hayes. It's a pleasure to meet you. Jessica sends her regards."
I can't catch my breath. I fight back the tears. Oh, how I wished Jaxon was here right now. "Ada, can you leave the room." Richard orders. I turn my head slightly at Richard who is squirming in his chair and nods his head reassuringly for me to leave, he looks as fearful as I do.
My knees shake like leaves as I stand from the chair. The blood rushing from my head making me feel giddy. I'm scared, all those bad memories of Alex cut loose their chains and invade every part of me, eroding away at my confidence, eroding away that brave person I've tried u all of this started.
"Ada before you go, can you please book us a table at Sushi Samba, for one o'clock please? I think we have some catching up to do." Alex, Chris, whoever the fuck he is asking for his usual delusional requests yet again. Well you can get fucked Alex.
I'm walking slowly towards the door with my hand hovering over the handle, peering over my shoulder back into the room at Alex. "No." I answer, pulling harshly on the door, then sprinting back to my desk. I've been holding my breath this entire time. I take the longest breath but i feel like I'm being choked by someone. My heart is racing and all I want to do is curl up in a ball and pretend none of this is happening.
As soon as I get back to my desk, I'm searching frantically for my phone.
"Ada." Richard calls after me.
"What the fuck is going on Richard." My voice is raised which causes him to shut the room door behind him.
"I can explain but we need to go into my office." He says.
I don't trust him but right now I need to know everything so I storm into his empty office and he follows closing the office door behind him.
"I'm going to try and cut a very long story short because I'm not sure how much time we have." He looks over the frosted pane on the window to see if anyone is there. "Ten years ago, my cousin asked me to join a football team and that was when I was introduced to Christopher. He became my best friend, we were inseparable. We found this massive house to rent and we shared the rooms out to our closer friends from the football team. In between that time, he met Vanessa which you know the story of. Shortly after that I met my wife. The day I was set to move out he told me he met the most beautiful woman in the world. You." He moves over to a chair and sits on it, rubbing his hands through his hair.
"I remember. He called you Rich. He told me you were moving out and getting married. He offered me your room." I laugh nervously.
Richard continues. "A few years went by, my wife was diagnosed with cancer and Vanessa and I, well you know the story, we got pregnant. Chris met you and we finally thought that he would be distracted enough that he wouldn't care about our affair but boy, did I get that so fucking wrong. He was changing, his attitude with the more powerful he become, he thought he owned everyone. Vanessa telling him the baby wasn't his didn't seem a good idea at the time. She was scared, we both were. The night when he found us in bed together he vowed to make my life a misery so when you had broken things off with him he made sure I kept an eye on you. He made me into his personal evil slave." He swallows hard, knowing the next part is going to be tough to swallow. "I'm the one that had broken into your flat that morning. I'm the one that planted that letter in your drawer and I'm the reason why you have that scar on your finger. Chris told me where to put the letter, he told me your pin code to your phone but I got spooked when you turned off the shower, so I dropped everything and ran." The sweat beads continue to run down his face.
"Richard. How could you do that to me." Sorrow hits me hard like a tonne of bricks. "I thought it was him that broken in. After all this time it was you? You were at the hospital. You gave me time off because you felt guilty, didn't you?!"
"I know but I've had my reasons. I promise you I have not done any of this for fun." He pleads. "That's not the only thing I've done Ada. I made you believe the football tickets were a gift but really, I bought them for you. Chris knew you wouldn't accept them if you knew I'd bought them so I told you they were from a client. It was all so he could get you... alone." He looks at me for a fleeting second and back down at the floor.
My heart is in my mouth. That night was the second on my list of being the most terrifying night of my life. The night where I actually considered ending it all.
"Richard. You set him up to murder me. He strangled me for three minutes. I could feel myself dying in his hands." I shrieked. I pace the office, struggling for breath.
"I know. I didn't know he would harm you in that way. He promised me he wouldn't hurt you."
"Are you fucking joking me Richard. He promised you that did he. Shall we go through the list of all the things he has physically done to me?" I raise my finger in the air and point it towards him. "This scar is from a razor stuck inside an envelope that you planted. He's stalked me, watched me with Jaxon. He strangled me in public till the point where I thought I was going to die and he enjoyed it. He then posed as a delivery man and attacked me at my own home. He wanted to rape me Richard. Luckily I managed to escape him by stabbing him in the leg with the knife he held to my throat." Tears are streaming down my face; the salty liquid falls over my lips. "Was it you whose been standing outside Jaxon's gallery holding up those disgusting signs?" I continue. He stays silent, looking down at the door disgusted with himself. "The cuts and the bruises on your face, that was Jaxon wasn't it?"
He nods slowly avoiding all contact with me.
"Chris was going to tell my wife. He wanted to make my life a living misery and he knew how to play me. If my wife found out about Vanessa and I, it would kill her and I'm not ready for her to be exposed to the truth in that way, she doesn't deserve it. He also threatened Vanessa, although she doesn't know about it, he was going to sell her house from under her and leave her out on the street. Taking Jasmine for himself but then if he did that, he would find out Jasmine isn't his, that she's my child. I've had to do what was asked of me for my own selfish reasons. I hope you understand." He concludes. His shoulders fall a few more inches but it was more relief that were removed from off them.
Soon enough Richard heard the outside room door open. "Quick get in the cupboard." He jumps off the chair and pushes me into it being careful not to hurt me "Whatever you do, do not make a sound." He shuts the doors behind him. Pulls out his phone and pretends to make a phone call.
I can hear everything clearly, the moment when Alex barges through the office without so much as a knock.
"Where the fuck is she?" Alex shouts.
My breathing is heavy and erratic. I hold my breath but it's useless, the feeling just burns me. I pull my hands around my knees hugging them so tightly that they dig into my chest. Listening out to what is being said.
"I don't know. She's probably gone home." Richard blurts.
"Her bag is on her chair. She is still in the fucking building Richard. Where. is. she?" He growls.
"I said... I. don't. know." Richard fires back.
There's a terrifying silence. Tensing against the shaking of my legs is useless, worrying if the shaking is making any sound but I keep on tensing, surpassing for a few more moments until someone spoke.
"Make the call." Alex orders.
"No." Richard blurts back.
"Make the fucking call Richard. Or I will give your dying wife a visit and tell her where you were last night."
I can tell Richard is standing there defeated. The silence was poison, for in that void the conversation was laid bare until the sound of keypad tones.
"Hi, is that Jaxon George?" Richard asks with his professional phone voice. "I'm calling about 'The Ada' painting. Is it possible if we could have it delivered now? I will wire over the fifty thousand after this phone call."
This was the moment I realised I've misinterpreted every one's actions, everyone's words, everyone's expressions, all the situations for so many years. I've been lied to for far too long and now my Jaxon. My Jaxon, that one day on Christmas Day was brought into my life and it so happens he is very much in the middle of this evil game. He has been involved in this ever since he met Alex at my dad's birthday party.
"Six o'clock is fine. See you then." Richard hangs up the phone. "It's done."
"Good." Alex says coldly.
"Why are you doing this? He is just a kid."
Footsteps. I hear footsteps but they are distant just as if someone was about to leave the room. The door squeaks open. "I have to."
The room fell silent. The silence seeped into my blood and paralysed my brain as tears fall down my face for the millionth time today. Just as I swipe the tears from my face the doors of the cupboard swing open.
"You have to get out of here. Now!" He orders me. "There's a lot more to this story but right now you need to get out here and save your fiancé." He demands.
"What do you mean? What has Jaxon got to do with any of this." I whisper shout, hoping Alex doesn't come back In.
"He has everything to do with this. Go. Go now."
And that is what I did. I ran through the maze of hallways to the lifts. Yeah, I'm scared but that is not going to stop me from saving the father of my child. I press the call button for the lift by pressing the button a dozen times.
"C'mon!" I say impatiently, pressing the button again. I take out my phone from the bottom of my bag and dial Jaxon's number.
"Pick up, Jaxon!" Of all the times to not answer his phone.
Finally, the lift arrives. I wait impatiently some more as a group of men walk out onto the office floor with their arms full of files. I step into the lift and press for the ground floor. The anticipation for the doors to close is fucking gruelling but just as I look out down into the corridor I see Alex staring back at me. The doors are about to close but they swing open again as Gemma's ex-boss delays me further.
"Oh hello, Ada." He smiles but I don't really hear him. All I can focus on is the fact that Alex is now rushing towards the lift, getting closer and closer. I hit the ground floor button a dozen times more until the doors finally closes just before Alex gets there. His evil face disappearing as the heavy metal doors meet. The relief I feel when the lift starts moving, the welcoming giddy feeling in my head at the speed of the elevator travels down the shaft, I close my eyes begging the lift not to stop at other floors on the way down.
"Why are you in such a rush. It's not home time you know?" Dominic noses looking me over curiously.
My eyes open slowly and if looks could kill, I glare back at Dominic. "Shut the fuck up Dom."
With that, the elevator doors burst open and I sprint out of the building, out of what I could only describe as my own personal hell.
"Please pick up, Jaxon." I say as I'm plagued with more tears and worry.
"Ada?" He finally answers.