The light within -Snupin-

Chapter 8

The hour faded in half an hour of detention. It was unbearable and felt like Remus was here forever.

He still couldn't believe what Padfoot and Prongs had done before he arrived. Remus was studying with Peter but it was impossible to make him do any work so he decided to find his other friends.

He glanced over to the other side of the room to see Snape deep in thought. His eyebrows were furrowed and he was staring at the air without blinking once. The pain hidden behind the black eyes touched Remus. He could have guessed it was because of that bloody book his friends, or better said: Sirius, destroyed.

He wanted to run to Severus and hug him so hard that his lungs couldn't take in any more air.

His friends went too far this time and Remus had to do something about it. Severus' is lucky that they aren't doing anything right now in detention to him but still, this couldn't keep on happening.

He sighed and bounced his foot up and down at a fast pace. It's something he does when he's anxious and believe it or not, but it helps. Remus stared at Severus who, if he guessed, was drawing something. His head was hung over some parchment and face almost touching it. His tongue frequently licked the bottom of his lip and his posture wasn't very straight anymore. Remus chuckled in himself, it looked cute how he was so deep in concentration.

He wanted to have a closer look to what the Slytherin boy was creating but James and Sirius were sitting next to him so that wasn't a good plan. He heard James snicker a bit while crumbling up a piece of parchment and throwing it across the room, against Severus' head.

'Snivellus,' Sirius whispered.

However, Severus didn't respond nor he looked up and continued with drawing, almost like he didn't hear it but Remus saw his shoulders go up and his body tense. It was no wonder to him because he was probably bloody scared off them and Remus couldn't blame him. They even lost count over how many times his friends and him bullied Severus.

Severus never really did something against it and if he did, mostly it would end with Severus being mortified and humiliated in front of the school. Remus never participated with those things but would confess, he did help bullying sometimes even though they weren't so bad. Remus was more the sneaky one of the Marauders and knew how to get away with some things without getting caught or ending in detention. James and Sirius, well, they weren't so smooth and played it in the open field as if they wanted to get expelled.

Mcgonnagol came walking in the now open door.

'I hope you have thought about your behaviour in the time you've spent in detention. You may go.' She folded her hands over each other while silently waiting for the group to stand up and exit the room. Minerva knew damn well this wasn't going to be the last time this would happen but expelling the boys was no option. Albus said it himself: 'We can't expel them Minerva. We need them.' and with need them, he meant: The Gryffindor sweethearts have a good reputation and we need it for the school. It's like he didn't care about them bullying an innocent boy just because he is in Slytherin and probably a few other reasons too.

Sadly, it wasn't Minerva who was in charge for such things, it was Albus.

James and Sirius were the first to get up while Severus took his time packing in all his stuff. Remus hesitated to talk to Severus because it was a good opportunity at the moment.

'You coming Moony?'

Remus stared at his two friends and made a motion with his hand, gesturing for them to go ahead.

'See you at dinner then,' Sirius said with a wink. Mcgonogal was watching their every move like a hawk which made Remus even more nervous. He packed his bag as slowly as he could and when he was done, Severus was still putting in his last things. He puffed a piece of hair out of his face before getting up and walking towards the entrance past Remus. Remus looked shocked that he ignored him like that but couldn't blame him after that afternoon.

'Severus wait!' It was tricky to go by his front name, especially when there were other people who could hear it in the corridors. Snape stopped in his path and turned in his heels with an angry glare on his face.

'Don't call me that.' They stood like that for a few seconds while Remus was figuring out what to say.

'Erm- I wanted to say sorry for what happened and I was wondering....' Severus kept staring at him through splitted eyes, waiting for him to finish the sentence.

'Wondering what, Lupin?' he sneered. Remus didn't comment on the last name base because he could see it coming already. They were in public after all.

'Wondering if you would maybe....want to study with me?' This was the moment, the moment Severus would say no, walk away and never talk to him again. He felt so stupid.

'Is this some kind of sick joke? Where are your friends?' He seemed suspicious about the situation and out of impatience, wrapped his arms over his chest.

'No, no it's not a joke. I just thought it would be fun and I desperately need to get my DADA grades up. Since you know so much about that subject I thought maybe....you know what, nevermind.' The answer was clear enough for him even though he didn't say anything yet and turned around to walk to the Gryffindor tower before feeling a touch on his shoulder. Confused he turned his head to see who it was, looking right in the black eyes from Severus. Eyes where you could get lost in.

'Sure.'

'Uhm, yeah great. After dinner in the library?' Remus asked.

'See you then.'

----

the library was quite like most days: almost completely empty. It didn't bother Severus at all, liking the quietness and peace of it. He could lower his wands a bit and stop with constantly paying attention to his surroundings, scared for Potter and his friends to pull a prank again. He got a small grin on his face, as if they would even know where the library is. At this point it would even surprise him if Potter or Black could read. Pettigrew probably never even saw a book in his life, let alone opening one.

Remus on the other hand, was nothing like his imbecile friends. Severus didn't even know when he started going on first base with his name in his mind. Remus was smart and that was not something he could deny anymore as much as he wanted to believe Remus was just as stupid as the rest. But he actually tried with subjects such as Potions or Herbology and it amused Severus to see it. The deep concentration on his face that he saw occasionally was with no words to describe. Sadly, it was a face Severus barely saw and mostly because it was disturb by his stupid friends. Severus had to hide his schock when he asked him to join him after dinner to teach DADA.

He had skipped dinner to avoid getting picked on by the Gryffindors but luckily, hunger didn't take over his body. He was used to eating too little and especially in summer vacations where there wasn't even enough food if he wanted to. Severus knew he was too thin and the Marauders made it even more clearer than it was as if he hadn't noticed it himself yet. They always found every flaw of his appearance and it lowered his self-esteem but didn't show it. Of course, at first he didn't believe the words they were saying even though they were constantly repeated by his father before going to Hogwarts.

Throughout the year, Severus did start to believe them and tried everything to fix it while the effort was useless.

His hair was too greasy? He started to wash it two times a day. He was too thin for people's likings? Started eating until he was nauseous which ended up in the hospital wing after a while. There was nothing Severus could do to please the boys and hated to admit he even tried to please them.

Lily did always tell him not to listen to the words, saying he was perfect the way he was and that everybody is different and unique in their own ways but that was just Lily's nature. It was rather attractive, such a loving personality. Severus didn't fall for people's looks but mostly by personalities because they always told the story. Looks were misleading and you had to be careful not to fall for a toxic person just because he or she is attractive.

It's like wearing red tinted glasses, you miss all the red flags that were so clear for other people but that's what you get when you're in love. That's why every teenage girl is sliming over the Marauders, excluding Pettigrew.

Severus took a seat and opened a book, waiting for Remus to come if he even bothered enough to show up.