Factory Reset | ✓

remember

I returned to my room, the nagging feeling still gnawing away at me. There was no reasonable explanation for what I saw in the garden. Nothing I knew could explain why I saw what I did.

Nothing except... what Mira said.

The more I thought about her words, the more it started to click in my mind. If this hotel was fake, then everything around me was part of an elaborate scheme. And if that was true, then something bad would eventually happen. Or maybe they'd just let me leave if I behaved.

But even if they let me leave, would they let me leave alive or dead? Would I still be the same person as I was when I entered? Would they try to change me again, turn me into someone else? Would I have my memories altered countless times before I ever made it out of here, if ever?

And what if there was nothing for me in the outside world? Mira mentioned that two people were dead. Did other people think I was dead, too? Did they know that I still existed? Were there people out there who cared for me and wondered where I was now? Or did I have no one?

Nausea grew in the pit of my stomach the more I ruminated.

Maybe if I took a quick nap, I'd wake up feeling better than before. Something told me that sleep would answer all my questions, but what if falling asleep was part of the problem? What if there was no escape from the struggles of life? What if it was like quicksand and I was sinking fast?

If only I had my phone with me. I could've called Ethan and he could've cheered me up just by talking. He always knew what to say. He was amazing with words. I always told him that he could change the world. I felt genuinely lucky to have met a guy like him. But... did he even exist?

My memories with him felt so real. I feel like I really did know him for years, but when I looked closely at each memory, something didn't add up. There were too many details missing. How did he like his eggs? Did he like having subtitles on when watching movies? When was his birthday?

The more I pushed each memory to try to find answers to those questions, the weaker they got. He was born in the winter. No, he was born in the spring. No, he was definitely born in the summer. His last party was a pool party, wasn't it? No, wait, he didn't have a party last year.

Soon enough, entire memories dissolved. The life that I thought I had no longer existed. Maybe it never did. How could I be so sure I existed if everything was fake? What if I was also fake? What if I was created in a lab to think I was human? To test and see if such a thing was possible?

No, that couldn't be it. I still felt emotions and pain. It couldn't all be fabricated. I couldn't be the fake one here. Maybe Mira was right. Maybe this entire hotel was... just an illusion.

I lay down on my bed, staring up at the ceiling. All I wanted was to let my mind rest for a while, but old memories resurfaced, and I found myself drowning in the recollection.

▬▬▬

It was a full moon tonight. The moon was dazzling — shining as brightly as a golden ring. A magical sight that only blessed us for once every 28 or so days. Being here on a night like this — it felt like fate.

The next time the moon was as full as this, I wouldn't be alive anymore.

The thought of it both thrilled and scared me. Non-existence was something I thought about a lot, but to finally confront it... it felt like both a dream and a nightmare. I'd finally know what was on the other side.

After suffering through life for years, we all agreed to leave the world together.

Atlas drove the car and picked us all up. It was originally his plan, and he convinced us to join him. We all had our own reasons for going through with it, and we were too tired to explain ourselves at all.

I cried the whole time. Despite agreeing to the plan, I was still anxious. It was one thing to think about death but to chase it was a whole different thing. Was I really ready for this? To end things once and for all?

Mira and I sat in the backseat. I laid my head on her lap, not wanting to witness the crash as it happened. The car was so gross. I could spot empty food containers littering the ground beneath our feet. It would be over before I knew it, I kept telling myself. I just had to focus on anything except what would come next.

It's why I brought a tiny seashell with me. I held it in my hands, turning it over and over again. Something about holding it calmed me. It took my mind off the fact we were almost there. Atlas was driving fast — he was more reckless than all of us combined. We would be in the ocean before I could blink.

"Why did you bring that with you, Aura? Where we're going, we can't take earthly possessions."

I glanced up and found Lana staring back at me. She was the only one who kept trying to talk me out of it before we came. A part of me wondered if she felt guilty about inviting me to join, but it was my choice. We were all old enough to decide for ourselves what we wanted. Talking to her was always so frustrating.

Before I could open my mouth to say something back to her, Mira held me close. "Aura, before it's too late, there's something I wanted to tell you. Something I wasn't able to tell you before. I—"

And then... we hit something, and the whole car started to fall down...