Saving Kai

4

Chapter 4

Kai's POV:

When we arrived at our apartment, I felt exhausted. My whole body ached and slightly shook, it took all of my will power to walk to my room. Esme went to the kitchen to make me a warm cup of tea so my tension could be relieved. I walked to bathroom turning the water of the shower to the coldest setting possible. I locked the door of the bathroom and stripped of my clothes.

The cold water hit my body and I felt as if I was being hit with something repeatedly. I couldn't control the sobs that left my mouth as I stood frozen underneath the water. Everything from three years ago came running down all at once.

Cairo died because of you. He ended it because of you and your burdens. You deserve this.

My sobs became louder and louder. I couldn't handle the pain that I was experiencing. It felt similar to the day that I found Cairo's lifeless body. What felt like hours of me crying underneath the cold water was interrupted by knocking on the bathroom door.

"Kai.. darling, I've prepared some tea for you. I'll be waiting outside for you," Esme calmly stated.

I walked out of the shower and dried myself. I pulled on the matching pair of grey sweatpants and sweatshirt. Before leaving the bathroom I took a glance at myself, my face looked tired and worn out. It looked lifeless, my eyes red from crying.

I left the bathroom to find Esme sitting on the corner of my bed with the tea. She handed me the cup and I sat next to her with my head on her shoulder. We sat in silence for a few minutes, my mind full of the incident from earlier.

"Kai, what happened," Esme questioned.

I've always told Esme about everything that has occurred in my life and she has done the same. Whenever I faced issues with Alex, Esme would always help me and make me feel appreciated and loved.

I explained everything to her as well as word for word of what Alex stated. I couldn't help the tears that formed and my voice turning into a bare whisper. Esme's eyes also filled with tears and she just looked at me in pain.

"I can't believe she would stoop so low. Kai, you know that everything she said is absolutely false and I don't want her disgusting words to be filling that delicate head of yours. She has always been like this and envious of others, Alex just wants to bring you down and let you spiral," Esme stated.

"I know but it's so hard when you already feel like everything is your fault. I despise myself more than anything. I am just this huge problem that has no solution as well as someone who just burdens everyone," I responded with a shaky voice.

I looked up at Esme and all I could see was hurt. I did it again, I am bringing down others with my own issues and past.

"My darling... Why would you ever think that? You mean the world to me and I wouldn't be able to do anything without you. Everything about you is special to me and I wouldn't be the happiest girl without our friendship," she responded.

I held her hand while her other hand covered mine. She gave me a small kiss on the cheek and let me be in my room after a few minutes passed since our conversation.

I searched my nightstand and pulled out my pills. After Cairo's death, I couldn't sleep without having dreams of Cairo and the day I found him. There would be nightmares that would leave me covered in sweat and tears. I also had been prescribed pills for my anxiety during times where it would get extremely out of control.