Saving Kai

5

Chapter 5

Kai's POV:

It's been about two days since I had bumped into Theo at the local cafe. I've been working on some of my artwork and sketches since the university has required some submissions before classes start. I had thought about what I wanted to do and I focused on doing something that would represent my inner turmoil and conflicts.

I decided to go outside on a walk after being occupied for several hours, I felt like I deserved to have a mental and physical break. I stumbled upon a beautiful flower shop as I walked along the streets, some particular flowers brought back a wave of memories.

The flowers that Cairo gave me on a daily basis, the same flowers that I placed upon his grave..

I felt like a crack occurred in my heart once again, I can't have a normal life anymore. Whatever I do just gets crushed due to the pain I'm experiencing.

With shaky hands, I slowly reach towards the flowers and I grab a bouquet. At least these flowers are here even when Cairo isn't, these flowers will always be a reminder of his delicate soul that required healing.

I bought the bouquet of flowers, and headed to my apartment. When I reached my room, I placed the flowers in a small vase on my nightstand. My entire room was a mess due to the paintings that were occurring, so I decided to clean up a little to prevent my room from feeling claustrophobic.

As I was cleaning, there was a knock on my door. Opening the door resulted in a smiling Esme standing there which also brought a smile on mine.

"Good morning! How are you?" Esme questioned.

"I am doing well, how are you?" I responded.

"Babe, I just wanted to let you know that Luca called earlier and he was asking if both of us wanted to hang out," Esme informed me.

"I don't have anything planned, so I can join you guys. I was wondering what time and how I should dress," I asked.

"He didn't really inform me much, but I'm probably going to wear a casual dress and he said to be there by 7pm," Esme answered.

"Alright thank you! I'll be in my room, I'm just going to work on my art portfolios," I responded with a smile on my face.

Esme just responded with a nod which I returned with a smile. I walked down the hallway towards my room which had scattered art supplies on the floor while everything else remained clean and spotless.

I changed into my sweatpants and cropped sweater while wearing some fuzzy socks since the apartment tended to be colder. I sat on the floor while pulling the canvas closer to myself, and grabbing the paint palettes.

The blank canvas just stared at me while I stared back. The canvas reminded me of my mind, moments where it would feel so blank and empty but then there were moments where it would feel crowded and overwhelming.

What could I paint? Nothing could express how I felt nor would it make me feel like it reached to my expectations. This was huge problem that occurred nowadays, I would create art but then I would end up hating it so much that I would either throw it away or restart.

My art was like me.. it was never enough..

My thoughts were so damaging, but maybe because I was a damaged person. My past hurt me in so many different ways which I never thought it would, there was no one I could really explain to because I don't want to be a burden on anyone.