My wild

I Don't Matter- Twenty-One

Tw: Mentions of suicide

Leah walked towards Toni with the pill. "No," I heard Toni groan. She sounded so out of it. "Now is not the time to prove a fucking point," I said trying to stay conscious.

I started choking on a piece lodged in my throat. Shelby brought me some water and held it to my mouth.

"Drink," She said softly. I did as she said. I coughed up whatever I was choking on.

"Ugh," I groaned in pain. "Just take the fucking pill!" I yelled in frustration.

"She took it," Leah announced. Felt like a weight fell off my chest. she's going to be okay I reminded myself.

Tears streamed down my face because of the pain I was feeling, it was becoming too much. I just have to push through it, it'll pass eventually.

"Mel, I'm so sorry I feel so horrible I fucked everything up," Rachel said in distress.

"It's fine you didn't know," I said dismissing her. I closed my eyes, exhausted from fighting to stay awake.

I felt tiny slaps on my cheeks, I had nothing left in me to respond.

"Mel!" I heard Martha yell over me. Maybe these are my last moments, what an embarrassing way to die.

The fact that Toni was going to be okay comforted me. Air felt like it was slowly leaving my body.

"Why didn't you take the fucking pill?" I heard Toni whisper with desperation in her voice.

"Why didn't you give it to her!" Toni yelled. I was fading in and out of consciousness.

"You were in way worse condition at the time and she wanted you to have it," Leah explained.

"She doesn't deserve to die!" Toni screamed, "And you do?" Martha questioned Toni.

"I don't think you understand how much I need her, Martha," said Toni.

Toni's POV

I stared at her lifeless body knowing that there is nothing I can do. What if she doesn't wake up?

How can we just sit here watching her, waiting for her to wake up?

Shelby touched my shoulder trying to comfort me. "Don't," I said dismissing her.

Two tears fell down my face. "She'll be good, Toni don't stress too much," Dot said.

"How can you say don't stress, she fucking looks like she's about to decay!" I shouted.

I was getting very frustrated. I felt like I was about to burst. I have to stay calm for Mel. I just want some alone time right now, but I can't leave her.

"We'll give you some space, just shout if anything happens." Dot said to me with a sympathetic look on her face.

I gave her a grateful nod. I turned towards Mel and kneeled over her body.

"You can't leave me." I whispered, "I can't do this without you." some more tears fell down my face. I felt hopeless.

why couldn't she just take the pill?

"You've saved my life twice now," I scoffed.

The memories came flooding back into my mind of the time I tried to overdose but Mel found my body before it was too late.

I was in so pain and every day I was just so tired of everyone and everything but she changed that for me.

Mel showed me the brighter side of life and I will forever be grateful for that.

If Mel doesn't wake up I don't know how I'm going to handle this.

I'm not only scared for her but I'm scared for myself.

"Please," I pleaded.

Her chest stopped rising.

Panic shot through all the nerves in my body. "Help!" I shouted. My heart was so fast I felt like my heart was about to explode.

I started to give her CPR.

"You are doing too hard," Nora shouted. I wasn't going to ever argue with her, I can't play around with her life.

"You take over then," I said backing away from Melody.

Nora continued where I left off.

I stood beside Martha holding her hand tightly. K took a deep breath.

I was so nervous I swear I started shaking. Martha wrapped her arms around me. "She's one of the strongest people we know she'll pull through,"

Martha's words made me feel a little bit better about the situation.

Fucking hell.

"Maybe we should take a short walk around the beach?" Martha proposed.

"I can't leave her, what if she wakes up and I'm not here?" I asked Martha.

"She'll understand," Martha replied.

I nodded.

"I think I'll actually just go by myself," I said softly.

I looked at Mel and Nora one last time before I left.

If there is anyone here that I trust to do CPR it's Nora, she freakishly knows everything about everything.

"She's in good in good hands," I said trying to remind myself.

There are so many things I still wanna do with her, even if we are stuck on this island for the rest of our lives.

Above the water was a beautiful sunset. I sat down on the sand and just simply watched.

I took my hair down from my ponytail and exhaled.

I should be the one almost dying not her, I don't matter.

She's done so much for me, and all I do is cause her to harm most of the time, and she still stays.

I splashed my face with water and headed back.

"She started breathing again but she still hasn't wakened up," Nora said to me.

"It was really a struggle to get her back, so if she stops breathing again I don't know if will be able to pull through," Nora explained.

I nodded in acknowledging. I am truly speechless.

Rachel started walking towards me. What the fuck does she want, hasn't she done enough.

All she's done since we've been here is a bad mouth,
Melody. She's probably glad this whole thing is happening.

"What do you want," I said harshly to Rachel.

"I'm sorry, like so sorry. I didn't know that this would happen," Rachel said.

"Ya I bet you sooooo sorry," I said sarcastically.

" I understand why your mad right now, I really do, so I'll just give you some time,"

I didn't reply.

One thing I never understood was that Melody never once talked to me about finding my body or my whole attempt in general.

She can't leave like this.