My wild

Perfect For Me- Twenty-Three

Melody's POV

I couldn't stop imagining that day, it was like it was replaying over and over again.

I could tell Toni was deep in thought, she was always really easy to read.

I didn't know what to tell her, I didn't want to make her feel bad or ashamed but I didn't want to lie either.

I placed my hand on hers and said

"I care about you so much and seeing you like that is something I really don't want to talk about,"

I think that was the best answer I could have given her, but I know she was looking for something more.

"I'm so sick of this beach," Toni said switching the subject.

"Never thought I would say this but I'm totally homesick," I said sighing.

"Same," Toni replied.

" If we ever get back there's no way in hell I'm going back to my dad," I groaned.

I rested my head on her lap as she played with my hair.

"Is it bad I don't really miss my mom anymore?" I asked.

All the pain I had built up inside me from her death had turned into resentment. I am just so angry at her for doing what she did.

How could she?

Being on this island really made me think about everything I had before. Maybe my mom wasn't this perfect angel I thought she was before what happened.

Maybe her true colours were there all along.

Maybe I was just way too wrapped up in myself or maybe even oblivious to see what was right in front of me all along.

I always saw who my dad was and he was unapologetically himself 24/7.

Am I crazy to think my mom is the reason why I'm on this island?

Even in her grave, she's still extremely present. I feel like everyone is just so focused on going home but no one is really thinking about why we're here if there is a why.

"No, I think it's perfectly understandable to feel the way you do right now," Toni replied.

"You don't even know what happened, and you never asked," I said looking up at her.

"I just thought you'd tell me when your ready, I didn't wanna rush you or pressure you," Toni responded tucking my hair behind my ear.

"My mom took me on a walk after she found out I was gay in the middle of the night, handed me a letter, pointed a gun at me and then shot herself in the head," I said emotionless.

Toni's face dropped.

"I didn't know, I am so sorry for everything," Toni said in a shocked voice.

"Everyone in my family blames me you know, everyone," I chuckled.

I didn't know what else to do but laugh, I was tired of crying.

"I used to blame you but then I realized that I couldn't hide that part of myself forever," I explained.

"Melody you fucking blame me if I just learned how to control my temper just for one night your mom would still be here," Toni raised her voice.

"What's the point of blaming you now, what's that going to change," I said sitting up.

"You do realize that I am responsible for two really traumatic situations in your life," Toni stated.

"You can't blame yourself for the first one, you were in a dark place that had nothing to do with me," I replied.

"I rather live that over and over again a million times than having you dead," I said looking into her eyes.

"You are the most important person in my life," I placed my hand on her cheek.

"I love you," Toni rested her face in my hand. I leaned in slowly and kissed her. Toni placed her hands around my waist and deepened the kiss.

I pulled away slowly. Our foreheads touched as we sat in silence for a brief moment.

Sure Toni has done a lot of fucked up things but haven't we all. In this case, I think the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.

"I love you too," I replied.

She wasn't perfect in any way by definition, but she was perfect for me and that's all that mattered.

Toni's POV

I felt so bad for all the pain I have caused her. I don't deserve her at all. This moment looking into her honey brown eyes was all I could ever ask for.

I love her I really do but sometimes my mind goes to Regan and I don't know why.

I don't feel anything for her anymore, so I'm guessing it's just curiosity.

Regan and Melody couldn't be more different. Regan looked really tough on the outside but was really soft on the inside and vice versa for Mel.

I wonder if Regan is manifesting me or something, I mean she looks like she could be one of those witchy bitches.

I stood up dusted off my shorts. "I'm gonna get some water okay," I said to Mel.

Mel nodded her head and started fiddling with the sand.

All the water ran out at camp to had to go to the waterfall.

"Toni can I talk to you for a second," Shelby said from behind.

What fuck does she want?

"No, but if you insist," I replied harshly.

"I was wondering how did you know you were... you know," Shelby said uncertainty.

I laughed loudly. I know that was probably not the best response, but I've seen her judgy eyes before.

"Gay is not a bad word you know, I swear you won't go to hell if you say it," I chuckled.

"Can you not joke about this," Shelby replied in a serious tone.

"Look I'm just trying to get some water and go back to my girlfriend," I explained.

"She's not technically your girlfriend," Shelby said trying to keep up with me.

I turned back to look at her. "I know you wish she was yours but I'm working on it," I said annoyed.

"You're no help Jesus Christ," Shelby threw her hands in the air.

"Aren't you not supposed to say his name in vain?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Leave me alone, Shalifoe," Shelby snapped.

"Looks like your already going to hell, might as well admit to yourself that you're gay," I laughed.

"Just forget I even said anything," Shelby's cheeks turned red.

"Look I'm sorry you're just too easy," I said turning back around.

"Oh I am not easy," Shelby said confidently.

"Oh ya?" I smirked.

"Dick" I heard Shelby mumble. "Ya, a big one" I chuckled.

Maybe this could be home? I'm starting to like this place. I know I just said earlier that I wanted to go home but, somethings different now.
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