How Did We End Up Here

Chapter 27

A couple of weeks roll by and I hardly see Alec anymore. He skips all the classes we have together and it aches to see the seats he used to sit in empty, just right next to me.

I see him a couple of times in the parking lot talking to that Bambi of a slut. I totally forgot that Luke kissed her and had sex with her when I ran out of Calum's party. It's practically unbelievable but that's in the past now and I'm not going to hold that against him.

Once I'm home I scamper through my drawers looking for my blade, I remember I kept it on the side table under a magazine but all of a sudden it's not there anymore.

"Looking for this?" My mom asks very crossed twirling the blade in her hand.

God please kill me now.

"Why on earth are you doing this sweetheart. I-I I know I haven't been the best mother to you since your father left but I didn't know I was making you cut. Sweetie you're the last thing I have and I just can't watch you perish like this!" She's seconds from crying and I see myself tearing up too. I move over to hug her and pull strands of her hair of her face.

My moms a pure blonde, just like me. It frightens me how much we are alike. From our stature to hair the only thing separating us is she has blue eyes and I have green.

"Mom you know I love you, I haven't been the best daughter either. I should be helping you through your problems and-and I feel terrible mom, my life is changing right before my eyes and there's nothing I could do to stop it mom. I'm not cutting cuz' of you mom I love you and nothing gonna change that. Nothing's your fault I promise." I cry but stiffen up cuz' she's the one that needs a shoulder to cry on now. Not me.

She just found out her 17 year old daughters' been cutting and she thinks it's all her fault. I'm just a selfish bitch.

"Mom I promise you I'd stop cutting."

"You're cutting?" A third voice speaks, I swirl on my heel to see Luke standing by my window very disappointed. I look at my mom and she instantly gets the message. "I'd give you two some space." she sniffs and gives me a weak smile like she knows exactly what's going down in this room.

We stare at each other 3 foot away and he starts chuckling humorlessly making his way towards me. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared.

"So you mean to fucking tell me you've been cutting, really V. But you've been the one telling me to stop cutting but you're doing it yourself." He shouts at me.

"You're such a little selfish bitch you know that? Look what you did to her, made your mother cry. What would a freaking princess like you be cutting for. Your life is so perfect, man, I'd kill any day to be in your shoes and you're cutting? Like what the fuck is wrong with you. You're such a bitch God what would make you cut. You have everything you want, amazing friends, amazing sibling, so many guys yet you're freaking cutting and coming to tell me I should stop?" He screams at me. Tears start rolling down my face and he doesn't do anything to stop it. I've never seen him so angry before and I'm so scared.

He grabs one of my arms viciously and rolls up my hoodie reviling all the scars on my arm. They are still a little sore and the way he's holding my arm really makes it worse.

He laughs humorless. "Look at this. What the hell is this, you're fucking physico V, you're freaking stupid God I hate you." he spits at me and I couldn't control it. I start whaling and his expression changes once he realizes he's been a little harsh.

He lets me cry in his chest as his arms rap around my back. "I'm so sorry V, it just hurts to see someone I love self harming." He says. I look up at him my eyes swollen. "That's how I felt." my voice is cracked. It's hard talking about this. Its just something you don't want to talk about.