i haven't told mattia or anyone, i haven't even taken a test but i'm scared
i kinda avoid hanging out with everyone just because i feel like they will know some how
but when i do hang out with them i avoid drinking or smoking because if i am pregnant i'm not going to do that
i thought about taking a test and if it was positive i would abort it but my whole family is against it, i just couldn't do it which sucks
today i am hanging out with everyone at my house which would be different but i might feel more comfortable hanging out with them here at my house
i got up and showered and got ready
i wore this
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baggy just in case
they all got to my house all at once
they came in and we all talked
Clo- cea you good? she said as she noticed i was zoned out Cea- o-oh y-yeah i'm a-all g-good nothing is w-wrong
they all went silent and gave me a confused look
i couldn't take them all staring at me so i quickly got up and ran out of the room
a couple seconds later i see mattia come out of the room
Mat- what's wrong baby Cea- no i can't Mat- you can't what Cea- i can't tell you right now Mat- what why, just tell me Cea- just please go get cam and clo Mat- o-ok
he went back and a minute later cam and clo came out of the room looking for me
Cam- what's wrong Cea- ugh guys i started crying Clo- what cea tell us Cea- i think i-i'm p-pregnant there faces dropped Cam- girl did you take a test she said as they both hugged me Cea- no i'm to scared to Clo- aw baby, it's alright everything will be ok, we are here for you Cea- but i feel like mattia will leave me, he dosen't want a baby, he has a whole career ahead of him Cam- you don't know that, if he truly loves you he will stay and if he doesn't you still have a lot of other people who will be there for you Clo- we have to go get a test Cea- what will we tell the boys Cam- that we are going for a drive to get some air Cea- o-ok, i have to get my phone
we walked back into my room where everyone was and i grabbed my phone and cam and clo grabbed there things
Mat- where are you guys going Clo- for a drive to get some air Mat- cea are you mad at me, is everything ok Cam- mattia she's not mad at you everything is fine Mat- ok
we walked back out and went downstairs to the car
we drove to cvs to get a pregnancy test
we then drove back to my house and quietly went inside to hide the test in the downstairs bathroom
i peed on the test and left it in the bathroom as i panicked
Clo- cea everything is going to be ok don't worry Cea- what am i going to tell me mom i cried Cam- she will understand cea it's ok
i sat on the couch crying as cam and clo comforted me as we waited for the results
after about 15 minutes cam and clo decided to go check the test
i waited as they went to the bathroom to check it
about 2 minutes later they came back
there faces were un readable
Cam- cea.............
...
...
...
...your pregnant
i froze, i didn't know what to do
it was all a mix of emotions
what was mattia going to think is he going to leave me my mom is going to be so disappointed everyone is going to hate me i'm not going to be able to live my life everything is just bad
i started crying more and more cam and clo hugged me trying to calm me down
i sat there crying for an hour before i finally decided to go to bed
