Dusk [sequel to Aurora] - HS AU

Chapter 6

Oh, baby take a look around
I'm the only one that hasn't walked out
I'm right here, here

Song: Right Here, by Chase Atlantic

***

FIJI

2020, July 2nd, Thursday | 4 a.m

Harry's P.O.V.:

I fucking hate jet leg.

Why else would I be awake at 4 in the fucking morning?

I mean, my routine has drastically changed after Aster left to search for her sister. Between waking up early to go visit my father, spending the whole day at S&L and then making deals and supplying the off-record demands until the sun's about to rise, sleeping became a luxury.

Eating, too.

Well, I reckon I could've eaten better, but to be honest the only reason why I was eating okay before was Aster, and the moment she wasn't around to force me into a somewhat healthy diet, I was quick to fall back to my bad habits, existing out of coffee, bourbon and cigs. The only variation was how I would take my coffee - hot, iced, bullet.

My life has been hell, to the point these last 4 months felt more like 4 years.

Ever since I found out about my father's disease, the world started crumbling all around me. Everything is messy, wrong, out of place. I have been falling apart one piece at a time, every waking moment I'm afraid - of losing my Dad, of losing my portion of S&L, of losing my friends, of losing the control I crave so much.

Every time Aster calls me, my heart shrinks in fear. I've been constantly frightened that some of these days she's going to tell me she decided to simply stay in Fiji forever, living with her sister and away from the fucking mess she left in New York, with me. Madeline is the only family she has left, at least a family she can love and trust, and if she doesn't go back to the US, I'm afraid it's only a matter of time before Aster decides to stay here all as well, leaving all her old life behind.

Myself included.

I've never thought about the possibility of losing her before, but lately, I can't stop obsessing about it. She said she would stay only 3 months here, and it has already been 4, with no perspective of when she'll go back to her real life.

Maybe she simply doesn't want it anymore.

I've asked Rickie to pay attention to the details, in her words and her actions, and told him to tell me if she presented even the slightest of inclinations on staying forever. And when he called me two days ago, saying that she joked about buying the villa they're staying, considering how much they've already paid as guests, I didn't hesitate before jumping into the next plane here.

I can't stay long, though - not with my father's life being drained by the second. He's not getting better, and as the time passes, I'm more and more afraid he won't be around to the 1 year anniversary of glioblastoma. However, I knew I had to come here to see her, kiss her, feel her - I needed my life to go back making sense, it doesn't matter how horrible it is to leave my father in such a moment.

Leaving New York was an impulsive decision, and why I was in the plane, I gave myself one week.

One week to convince Aster to pack her fucking bags and go back to New York with me. Honestly, I don't give a fuck if her sister doesn't go along, Aster will have to understand I simply can't go on without her. I need her more than her sister seems to, and I don't give a flying fuck if I might sound selfish and the most horrible person in the world. This is the truth, my truth; I can't do it without my Bunny.