Dusk [sequel to Aurora] - HS AU

Chapter 16

She said my spirit doesn't move like it did before
She said that I don't look like me no more, no more
I said I'm just tired

Song: Cringe, by Matt Maeson

***

2020, July 24th, Friday | 8 pm

Aster's P.O.V:

I didn't propose to Harry.

Though I'm certain that marrying him is what I want, I'm afraid I'm going to overwhelm him with such an important, life-changing decision right now. He has a lot on his plate for now, and I don't want to add one more thing to worry about.

Besides, we still have so many communication problems, I feel like rushing into marriage may not be the smartest choice right this moment. However, on the other hand, I'm certain Harry is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, so it's not like I'm thinking crazy; I'm just advancing something that would happen naturally at some point of our lives.

But yeah, I haven't yet. There's too much to worry about now.

Des is getting worse by the day. Last time I went to visit him at the hospital, he slept almost the whole time, and in the few moments he was awake, he seemed too depressed to maintain a conversation; he was quiet and somber.

His deteriorating healthy reflects on Harry like a mirror. He has been quiet too, lost in his mind for most part of the time, subsisting on coffee, cigarettes and whisky, to the point he's visibly skinnier, his usually well-tailored suits and shirts getting loose on his body.

I've been trying to make him eat, trying to help and alleviate the pressure on his shoulders, but I'm so out of my depth here. I've been reading a lot about how can I help someone who is depressed, and every day I try to help him feel better, showing my support and love with no reservations, but overall, I feel powerless.

Plus, I'm barely seeing Harry lately. He wakes up early to go to the hospital, then goes to S&L to work and spends the whole day and part of the night there. He gets home when it's almost midnight, so tired he showers and crawls to bed; the only time we have to talk is then, when we're both in bed with our bodies so tangled it looks like a human pretzel. He tells me about his day, about his father, and shares his worries with me, and I try my best to be supportive, because I know that's what he needs.

He's not even going to Karma and the other nightclubs to meet the dealers, this job is now Rickie's and Abel's. I'm glad he managed to assign it to someone else, it was becoming humanly impossible to a single person to deal with everything Harry had on his plate.

Calvin is still visiting, but he's not staying at Harry's guest room anymore. Ever since he and Abel managed to have dinner together, two nights after Calvin arrived, they're glued to each other like siamese twins. I think it's cute; Abel is super soft when Calvin is around, and I don't think I'd ever seen my best friend so excited about a partner like he is about Abel.

I guess I'm lucky that Abel works almost as much as Harry, and usually spends the whole day at the lab or doing something else; if it wasn't for that, I don't think I would be seeing Calvin with the frequency I am.

Generally, Rickie and Abel take turns on the night shifts, and tonight is Abel's turn, which means I still have Calvin all to myself.

We've spent the whole week surrounded by books and documents, re-reading S&L's contracts from top to bottom, making sure there are no more loopholes my father could take advantage of.