Getting Over It

Chapter 3- The Journal

// TW //

"Thanks for your help Cap, I'll keep looking around just in case," Alison said.
The Captain bowed his head and walked off to the others. He really hoped she didn't find any of his stuff. The things that'd been left in the house were for too personal and secretive for anyone to ever find. Looking back on it, he wished he'd buried some of the stuff before he died.

~flashback~

The Captain locked the door to his office, ensuring no one would intrude. It was far past midnight and all the men would be asleep, but Cap didn't want to take any chances.
Cautiously, he opened the left drawer of his desk, revealing delicately placed photographs and letters.

Opening one of the letters, the war captain got a pen and continued writing it.
So far it read:

Dear Lieutenant Havers,
I sincerely hope you are doing well in the front lines and have had the opportunity to endure plenty of action without sustaining too many injuries.

As of late, you've been on my mind frequently. I'm not sure why, maybe it's just concern for your wellbeing, however I'm certain you are doing perfectly well, so perhaps that's not it.

During the week, he'd realised what those feelings were that he felt towards Havers. At first he was horrified. He had locked himself away in his office; he was certain his father had beaten those sort of feelings out of him long ago. He'd cried to himself for hours all night, trying as many ways as he could to vanquish the way he felt towards his Lieutenant. However, he had felt a sudden urge of confidence as if someone had whispered into his ear "do it".

He wrote for hours, pouring himself onto the page until he'd finished. Once he concluded the letter he stared at it wondering what on Earth he'd done.
"Good Lord..." he whispered.
He shook his head, crumpling up the letter and setting it alight with a lighter he kept in his desk. What was he thinking? If anyone had found that, he'd have been killed.
Putting his head in his hands, tears streaked his face as images intruded his mind that he felt horrible about enjoying.
"Why... why can't I be normal...?" He said under his breath through his tears.

He got out a small journal, and wrote how he felt. He didn't spare a detail. Although this could get him killed, he was certain his men wouldn't go through his drawers. Once he finished, he locked it away in a small secret compartment inside his desk where he kept his personal items.

~Present Day~

"Sooooo, Captain Freeze, what was that about earlier and why were you late earlier?" Julian tapped Cap on the shoulder.
"The man was just a great-nephew of a soldier I served with. That's all."
"Hmmm seems like a bit more."
"He served with me and that's that! Nothing more!" Cap snapped and marched off.

The Captain stayed with the others for a few hours, until an argument broke out over what they should watch on the television. Usually, he'd try and assert his dominance and attempt to restore order to his fellow ghosts in times like these, but today he really wasn't up for it, so he headed out to the gardens.

For around an hour, he simply strolled around the gardens, taking in the sights. It'd changed quite a bit since the war, though he'd seen most of the alterations happen so it wasn't much new to him. Although he'd seen it all before numerous times, the beauty of the land never failed to amaze him. It was by far the second best landscape he'd ever seen (other than a battle field).

"Captain!" A voice called, "Captain!" It was Alison.
"Ah, Alison, did you find anything?"
"Of Haver's? No," She smiled, "but I was wondering what happened earlier. You froze, it's not like you to freeze at all."
"I just haven't heard his name in a while, that's all." He was relives he hadn't found anything else.
"Ah, okay, well u found this," she held up a small journal and the Captain froze again, "I read-" she noticed the Captain's lack of movement and waved her hand in front of his face.
"Ah," he cleared his throat, tightening his grip on his swagger stick, "how... how much did you read...?"
"Enough."
If ghosts could sweat, Cap would've been soaked. His posture straightened up and he began to fidget, unable to look Alison in the eye. He wanted to flee, but he couldn't have cowardice added to his sack of crime.

Cliff hanger :) you're welcome 😈😇