I need you

144 3 5
                                        


Draco Malfoy:
Great Malfoy you fucked up again, but isn't it always your fault ? It's always me that makes a mistake, it's always me that is doing things wrong, just because I don't know how to act because I never felt love, because I don't know how you care about someone else. 

That's the thing with love, you will always get hurt. I was really trying my best, I did my best to change for the person I care about the most, with her, I realized what it is like to care about someone. I was always worried about her and I still am. God that sounds pathetic me talking like that, but it's the truth. I fell in love with a girl. 

She exactly knows how to make me laugh only my mother could do that all she knows when to not ask questions and I for example I'm just tired and don't have the energy all the questions, she knows when that point is and understands it. That's a point, I appreciate it a lot. My girl just needs to look at me, and she knows what to do. She always knows what to do when I am sad she knows how to comfort me and I feel bad because I don't know how to comfort someone. I know it sounds stupid, but it's the way I was raised.

 Cold, distant, emotionless. And now look at me to my girl I'm not emotionless I am showing emotions I didn't think I could feel, my girlfriend knows everything about me, and it feels so good that I have someone to talk about everything. Cold ? I don't think so either because I never tried so hard to impress someone and to make someone feel good it was a new world to me, and she understood that I am trying my best to make her happy. And now I know I fucked up. I hurt her in the worst way I could.

 Of course, I said sorry and yes I regret a lot but she- just left the corridor. She hates me. That was the thing I was so scared for when I asked her to be mine. It's not that I regret it, it's just I was scared that one day you and I will do a mistake a big mistake when I messed up things she would leave me. That day came, three days ago...

Astoria kissed me at a Slytherin common room party. We won a quidditch match, and I got drunk with all the other boys. Blaise, well he was even quite sober because of Luna. She may be a raven claw, but I love them together, and I think she is really helping him to change for better. Theo well he was drunk but with his girlfriend pansy, they are actually cute together and work out well better than I expected, but I am happy for both of them because I can see that both of them are smiling more. And then there is me, I got drunk. Too drunk, without her. She wasn't there, she was studying but I- I admire her for that, she has always been the more organization from the both of us. Now I made a mistake that I can't take back, and she's not talking with me anymore, but I understand her, and it still hurts. What the hell am I supposed to do now ? She will never forgive me ? Or maybe ? 

I will fight for her, in the first time of my life I need someone and that someone is her. But first I have to think of a plan or should I just go and try my best but the last time I didn't work out, so it's better to be organized the way she always is. Shit, I can't stop mentioning her name, I can't stop thinking about her. A while ago I would be disappointed at myself that I opened up to someone, but now I am proud of it because y/n was. I think I want to marry her one day when everything will be better and everything will be easier for me. For us. What if I never get her back I have to do don't think about that I know it sounds pathetic, but I think I can't live without her anymore. 

She is my life she's everything I worry about and without a second of hesitating I would die for her OK that sounds may be a bit too soft for Malfoy what is that way and I think it isn't that bad? And my family only my mother knows about her because I know the father wouldn't support me well actually he never does, but I was raised this way, so I'm used to that. Everyone would get used to it. I always thought that everyone's father is like mine but when I got older I realized that it isn't that way. When I will be one day your father I will definitely do things hopefully better than my father did. I want to let the children feel safe and loved and safe. I want to care about them and play with them and spend time with them as much as I can because it's the best thing you can have with your partner. I definitely want a child with y/n. 

Concentrate Malfoy your priority number one is now getting her back. But how I said this whole relationship thing is new to me I never knew how to care for someone and I don't know how to comfort someone and I know I am making mistakes but everyone that at some point and especially me I am doing a lot of mistakes I know and I know that I am doing things that are wrong but that's the way I was raised and I can't change that.

___________
My plan was simple yes stupid but I decided to just go to her dorm and talk with her. So I am going upstairs because I was in the common room sitting on a couch that always wants mine well not exactly but everyone knows that. 

There I am standing in front of her door my hands are shaking, my forehead is sweaty. I am definitely nervous and scared, what if she will tell me to leave her dorm ? Well I will have to try again. I won't give up that's something I directly decided when I was planning I will never give up on her. " Who is there" - a quiet and weak voice answers, my chest feels heavy when I just hear how broken she is because of me, all because of me. I quietly whisper "it's me, d-draco" " what the hell do you want here!!!! Leave now I don't want to see you!!!!" Well that won't be easy ? "Love, just let me explain it. Please I can't lose you. Let me in and let me talk, then you can decide if you want to ever see me again or not." - of course I wouldn't give up and just leave her when she doesn't want to talk, but I hope she will let me talk because that's my only plan. After a minute I hear smell food stops and the door is open I look at her and my chest is heavy again, Red puffy eyes, she's crying because of me that's what they are so scared for. I don't want to hurt her. Slowly I step in and close the door after me. I take a deep breath and start talking.

" My little darling, I know this probably isn't a good reason, and I am not good at talking about my feelings or thoughts, but I just can't lose you because I really need you, and it's not because I am using you. I would never. I am sorry, I know you don't trust me anymore, and it's......it hurts, but I understand you. I know there will never be a proper reason why that happened, but I want to explain. Astoria, well you know that she is very jealous of our relationship because she kind of likes me, but I don't like her. The only woman I like is you. I already spoke with her because she did something no one knew about and that's why I think you came to, too fast conclusions. She slipped into my drink, when I was in the bathroom I love potion. You can say it's my fault that I didn't pay attention, but I never thought that she would step so low and do this. But she did. I want to let you know that I didn't kiss her, she pulled in, and right after that bad, shitty kiss I pulled away. Okay, maybe more I pushed her away. Of course someone has to make a photo in the bad moment where you could think of it wrong, when you don't know the whole story. I would never kiss her because I have you. Maybe it sounds like I've gone soft, but I am proud of it like you are always telling me. You understand me just by a simple look at me, you know when to not ask questions anymore because I am too tired. You also know how to make me laugh and smile. I have to admit you just have to be next to me and I can smile like an idiot it may sound stupid, but it is the way I will admit. Yes, I am still Draco Malfoy and for your information" and in that moment I took the veritaserum out of my pocket and hand it to her. "

 I am telling you the truth. I want you to make you my wife I want to make you mine forever and have a family with you. In my future, you are my future. I can't lose you I don't know what to do without you anymore you help me to be a better person, and I am so thankful for it and I will never stop thanking you for that. You with your beautiful mindset made me realize that even in the darkest times and even when the whole world is falling apart you can be happy it's just a way of thinking how you are thinking, yes I remember those words where you said it to me in the common room at 3 AM sitting next to me in that moment I realized that I love you." I can't believe I just admitted that I love her because I do yes I do love that woman. I think she's taken back and doesn't know what to say, so I just stand there looking in her eyes waiting for an answer. "I love you too Draco" and with that she jumps into my arms and hugs me, I directly hug her back, kissing the top of her head.

I will never lose her again I don't care what it will cost I will do anything for that woman.

______________________________________________
I do not own draco malfoy.
I hope you enjoyed that chapter. (1854 words)
Your author

D.L.M || One-ShotsStories to obsess over. Discover now