some people do... (noah schnapp)

Chapter 17

It has been two days. 

I haven't spoken to anyone, besides Jack. However, today is Monday. That means I have to go back to school. 

I never really believed in heartbreak, to be honest. But then it happened. Suddenly, I found myself lost. There was a hole in my chest in which you used to me. 

We are young. And that is the problem when you supposedly fall in love at a young age. I had absolutely no clue how to love somebody without placing everything I had in me on them. He loved me. I love(d) him. But then he left. And so did my morale. I gave too much and he took it all away with him so that I have nothing left. 

I haven't been on my phone at all this weekend. I couldn't bare the notifications. 

I got up, eventually. The May sun that was once shining had been taken over by clouds, and the skies that were just bright blue were replaced by greyness. 

I did what I always used to do. Pretend everything was okay. When my mother put all her energy towards Jack. When I never saw my father. When he left us. When my mother would go out to a bar every night. 

I made it downstairs to have a piece of toast. I haven't eaten much over the weekend, I just didn't feel like it. Jack passed me a gentle smile, but I kept my head down. 

We walked to school in silence for the most part. Neither of us really knew what to say. I listened to my feet hit the ground. Repeating the beat in my head over and over again until we finally reached the dreaded building that we know as school. It was obvious everyone was losing motivation for their school work. It was hard not to though with the nice weather and knowing there was a month of school left. 

I had a study hall first, then art, and then English in the morning. English was the only class I had to face Noah, and that was of course if I didn't see him in the halls.

I quickened my pace to my classroom, going out of routine. Normally, I would meet with all my friends and take my time, dreading going to class, but now I couldn't wait.  I was so in my head that I didn't notice Jack catch up to me. 

"Are you sure you'll be okay?" He asked.

I gave him a shrug and continued walking, leaving him behind me. I rounded the corner and walked trait into the classroom, being the first one. I sit down in my seat and pull out my work, but couldn't help but look out the door watching all the happy friend groups walk past, and I wished that was me. That used to be me. That should be me. But instead, I'm here.

First period went by fairly fast. I finished almost all my work before making my way to art. I walked the halls scanning the faces of the students who most I knew, yet some I have never seen before. It was weird. I grew up with most of these kids but knew nothing about them. They knew nothing about me, we're all just familiar faces.

I haven't seen Noah, and as much as I hate myself for it, a part of me wanted to see him. Or maybe I wanted him to see me.

I walked in and saw Chloe, Sadie, Louis, Caleb, and Gaten. I approached the table, leaving out my normal smile as I sung good morning. I noticed as the conversation dwindled down and it was left with a silence. I gave a soft smile as took my seat while looking at Chloe. 

No one knew what to say, and I assumed Chloe had told them what happened. 

"Hey, Cass!" Chloe smiled, her usual big, bright smile.

"How are you?" Gaten smiled. 

I saw the rest give him a look and Louis kick his leg from under the table.