some people do... (noah schnapp)

chapter 19

hi sorry i took a break from social media bc it was getting cray but I'm back so I'm going to do a lil time skip bc i don't remember where i was going w this!

What is teenage love?

I don't know.

One thing I do know though is, you don't need it. It results in pain and it hurts because it is so ral and because it mattered so much to you. 

I could sit here, and think to myself that I'm over it. And I wish, after a month, I was over it. But i'm not. I stay up late every night, thinking about him. I would catch myself looking for him in the hallways even though I knew it wasn't right. Going through and rereading the old text messages and the pictures that filled my heart. 

I had not seen him in a full month. Lots has changed. We are on summer break. It is now July, July 16th to be exact. The last time I saw Noah was June 16th, the last day of sophmore year. What July 16th isn't like any other day. It's special. It was the day I had first met Noah, at the park.

When I first met Noah, I thought everything was better. And it was. I was happy. But then, the same Noah broke my heart. 

Jack and I got a lot closer. Chloe, Sadie, Gaten, Caleb, and Louis are still my best friends. I'm still friends with my brother's friends. I honestly don't have much to complain about. I'm healthy, have good friends, but my mind just keeps going back to him. 

Sometimes I wonder if it was even love, was it just the infatuation? I doubt myself on the daily, I broke my own heart from loving you. 

Jack told me not to waste my summer thinking about him, and I guess he's right. I called up Louis, as everyone else was busy, and asked if he wanted to come over. Sure enough, he would be over in ten minutes. 

"Hey!" I greet to the brunette boy that stood outside my front door. 

"What's up!" He responds, entering. 

We make our way to the couch, no one else was home. 

We make small talk as we search for a show to watch. It was a cloudy and a little chily out, so we thought indoors was the best option. 

"Can I talk to you about something," I blurt. 

"Of course, what's wrong?" Louis responds. 

"Noah. I know it's stupid because it's been so long but I just need someone to listen to me. Everyday, I think about him. I don't know why. It's like I'm holding on to something that I know won't happen again but deep down I still have hope there is a chance. Everything reminds me of him that I genuinely can't imagine getting over him and it's so stupid because we are teens who didn't even date for that long. But he made me feel like I knew him for ages. And I'm still in love with him but there is nothing I can do about it because I wasn't good enough for him. I didn't give him enough so he had to go and search for better," I rant on to Louis. 

"Cass, don't say that about yourself. You are good enough, he didn't realize that. It's okay to feel this way, but you should talk to him. Just to get things off your chest. Or write him a letter, you need to tell him," Louis consults. 

I look up at Louis, and nod my head, knowing he was right. We hold contact for a moment, our eyes connected. I couldn't process what was happening, but he leaned in, so carefully. I closed my eyes, our lips touched. He quickly pulls away, 

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't of have-"

I pull him back, and once again our lips connected. His hand brushes my hair back and his other hand finds itself around my waist. 

I found myself kisssing him back. 

It was a gentle, soft kiss. He pulled me in closer and held me tight. My fingers gripped into his soft hair and our bodies were connected. We stayed like that for quite some time. That was until I heard the key jingling to my front door. 

We quickly jumped apart, both unsure of what just happened. I look behind me and watch as Jack enters with Finn. 

"Hey guys," I smile, trying to act casual. 

Louis offers a wave while Jack and Finn quickly make their way to the basement where their video games were waiting, with a questioning look from Jack. I ignore it and look back to the television.  

"I'm sorry," We both say at the same time.

"No that was my fault. I just want to let you know I only like you as a friend and I don't want to ruin that," Louis panics.

"No I totally agree. Just friends," I nod my head in agreement. 

And that how we spent the rest of the day. Mostly as just friends... with occasional hook ups. But we both knew there no romantic feelings. And that it would stay that way. Louis then eventually left, it was almost 5 pm. After saying goodbye, I made my way to my room, still confused of what happened. 

I just made out with my best friend. Multiple times. What. 

I decided to take my mind off things, I cleaned my room and re-organized everything. It was getting late and I heard Finn leave. Not even a minute later, Jack barges into my room. 

"Knocking is a thing," I roll my eyes. 

"You and Louis hooked up" He immediatly says. 

"What? No we didn't," I say taken off guard.

"Bro," He replies, dropping his shoulders. 

"Bro," I mock him. 

"You're the worst liar," He shakes his head. 

"I did not kiss Louis," I say. 

He stares at me, waiting for the truthful answer.

"Okay fine," I say defeated. 

"Knew it," He laughs. 

"How did you know," I ask, sitting on my bed. 

"You practically flew in the air when I opened the door and both your faces were as red as Sadie's hair," he explains. 

"It didn't mean anything," 

"I know. It's clear you still love Noah, you just better hope Louis knows that."

"He does, we talked about that."

"Good."

 "Thanks," I reply while putting my hands in my lap. 

Jack then leaves my room and I am left laying on my bed. 

Bro why do I love Noah. 

okay quick lil chapter . see you soon hopefully.