Chance

I Did Not Beg

TW: panic attacks. This chapter also vaguely hints at SA but again, the reader is not SA at all in this book—it is only referenced.

Those pain meds caused such strange dreams.

At one point in the past week or so, you'd actually dreamt that you'd slept with Kylo. Not in a sexual way, but that you'd literally slept in a bed next to Kylo, cuddled up next to him. That dream was even weirder than the one about the rathtar.

It was absolutely the medication's fault. It made you loopy and delirious and was completely responsible for the dream.

You knew it had to have been of dream just because of how implausible it was. The Supreme Leader of the First Order crawling into his medicated apprentice's bed and letting her snuggle up against him? That could only exist in a dream reality.

The problem with dreams though, is that they can get out of hand rather quickly. One night, it was a far-fetched dream like you had cuddled with Kylo Ren. The next, it was dreaming about his cock inside you.

It was his fault, really. Him, and the medication. Kylo was the one who put those images in your head that day in the training room. He one was the one who introduced you to those thoughts. And it was the medication's fault for making you delirious enough to think about it. And to enjoy thinking about it.

It was his fault, and his fault entirely, that you dreamt about his bare chest hovering above you and your legs wrapped around his torso. His fault you dreamt of his lips on your neck and hand on your throat. His fault that you dreamt of his your pussy pulsating around his cock while he drilled into you hard enough to rattle the headboard.

It was filthy, and it was the best dream you'd had in a very long time.

Kylo been almost kind since the day you'd collapsed. Attentive, at least. Stopping by your room regularly to check in, making sure you had enough water and you took your medication and followed the doctor's orders. And he was gentle about it, which came as more of a surprise than anything.

Before, you probably would have found it obnoxious. But for some reason, you found it to be almost comforting.

And he had even brought you a holopad to keep you entertained. It had an array of holodramas for you to watch in all its cliche glory, and even a few puzzle games.

Maybe it was all just one big bribe. If it was, then it was working.

Training was resuming finally now that the doctor had officially cleared you after nearly two full weeks. And you were honestly looking forward to it.

Kylo must have noticed your change in attitude, because he smiled when you walked in.

"Ready?"

"Ready."

He didn't need to tell me what to do; you knew the drill. Light stretch first, quick meditation, then start with the formations.

It went by quicker than usual, presumably because you found yourself overwhelmingly grateful to just be able to move again. It felt easier too. Like maybe the Force was just on your side today.

Kylo seemed impressed as training went on and gradually introduced more advanced techniques. You gave it your all and by the time sparring was under way, you had Kylo sweaty and breathing a bit harder than usual. So naturally, you teased him about it.