Dark Cold Confusion

Even the deepest ocean won't be this dark

You see there are days where I'm completely drowned in my thoughts, they take me in as a whole, deep into I go unconsciously seperating from what's actually happening outside, and when the realisation hits that I going to far in I swim up, but even when I'm up I can hear the blabber, the non stop calling, how do I get myself out if this, should I distract myself, but should I really run away from my own thoughts? Am I supposed to ignore them, doing that just doesn't feel right.
If only I could talk this out but I can't, once again my mind is holding me back with all the what ifs.
If only I could ignore and do it but if I ignore my own thoughts, my worries, my calls, without them I'm nothing but a random body with an emotionless soul, I don't want that, though I hate my thoughts, the constant mormering, all those voices which hate on every movement, all those worries which holds no purpose,they are the ones who make me, me.
Right?
There I go again.
But I'm just like that, I don't want to change, is that childish, probably, but then again I like torturing myself, though not physically, I can be the murderer of my own confident.