Am I even there?|Tommyinnit angst

Only time will tell. (1)

I never really had friends that much in my life. Only my parents. But one day I found friends online and they made me happy. Happier than I've ever felt before.
I've helped them through tough times, but they never helped me.
Because, I've never told them. I've never told them my secrets
And they don't really notice my other side of my personality.
I just put of walls of 'happiness' and other stuff that add onto my persona to make them laugh and to make my viewers laugh. They never even notice me shedding a few tears sometimes on streams since I try my best to cover them up even if I mess up on covering them up.

-Fast forward to Tommy streaming.-

"WHATS UP CHAT? How are you all doing today?"
Tommy saw mostly goods and fines
"Today's we are just going to have a chill stream, and talk about random stuff ask some questions or tell some stories and I'll try my best to answer and tell stories back!."

"Why are you so skinny for your age? Don't you eat?" A viewer said which was really not necessary on their part.

"No he looks like he eats to much! CHOMMYINNIT"

Some couple of his viewers kept on asking.
Tommy tried his best to ignore those questions while answering others.
A donation came up on Tommy's stream that said
"How do people find you entertaining? You don't even look that flattering like other streamers do. You just look like a fat piece of shit of a person."

That sentence started to be repeated in Tommy's head which left him stunned of because of what someone said to him. The thought started to cloud his other thoughts and just sit there for roughly about 5 minutes repeating the sentence in his head until he got out of it.
"We'll chat I think it's time to end the stream! I'll see you all soon, bye."

When Tommy ended his stream he got up to go to the bathroom because he did need to go but at the same time he wanted to look at the mirror to see if the people were telling the truth.

Other people notice how big you are getting.

Why don't I just lose weight?

I'll look more better when I'm more skinny.

Do people really notice me like this?

Tommy's thoughts started to cloud in his head again which resulted in him feeling worse and started to question why did he look the way he did.

Maybe I just needed to lose weight like they told me to? Tommy thought to himself.

Maybe he should listen to the people.