i've always loved you - eremika au

4th of july.

eren's pov:

woah. last night was crazy. i can't believe i lost my virginity to mikasa ackerman. we've been texting all day. we haven't really talked about what happened. i mean we did but at the same time we didn't.

obviously we talked after and asked each other if we did anything to make the other person uncomfortable or anything and we were both fine. but we haven't talked about what we are. i don't know if we're talking, dating, or just fuck buddies. i don't even know what i want. i haven't told anyone and i'm not sure if she has either.

i don't know if i'm fully ready to have that conversation when i'm so unsure of what i want. i know i don't hate her anymore that's for sure and i don't want anyone else to have her, but would i even be a good boyfriend? what if that's not even what she wants?

i suppose i'll just talk to her when i pick her up. today's the 4th of july and the gang's meeting up at the beach around 6 pm. i offered to pick up mikasa and take her.

i had just finished getting ready and i stopped in front of the mirror to look at myself one last time. i was wearing black shorts, a white button down shirt that was unbuttoned, blue calf length socks, and a red bandana tied around my head. i also had red white and blue paint smeared down my cheeks. i know i look like the epitome of a douchebag but i had to get festive.

i let my parents know i was leaving and i was out the door. i texted mikasa to let her know i was on my way and pulled out of my drive way. not long after i was at her house.

i texted her i was here and she came out of her front door. she had her hair in messy space buns with red white and blue ribbon poking out of them. she was wearing her red high top converse, ripped jean shorts, and a white crop top that had puffy sleeves. as she got closer to the car i noticed she had blue glitter going up her cheeks as well. she looks kind of adorable.

mikasa opened the passenger side door, hopped in and said "hey eren."

"hi mikasa."

"you look like a douchebag." she said as she chuckled and put on her seatbelt.

"wow i was going to say you looked cute but nevermind." i joked.

"no like a douchebag in the hottest sense of the word." she told me.

"alright good then you're cute."

"thank you." she replied and blushed a tiny bit.

the ride there was short. we made small talk and listened to the radio. once we pulled into the parking lot she turned to me and said, "alright we need to talk about something quick."

"yeah what's up?" i asked. i already know where this is going.

"so you know last night." she giggled nervously.

"yeah it was great." i told her and i was being completely honest. it was even better than great.

"yes it was and i'm very happy it happened but..." oh no not but. don't say anything dumb. "i don't think we should tell anyone, at least not yet." phew.

"yes i completely agree, especially not tonight." i said.

"i also don't think i'm ready to have the what are we conversation." good i'm not either.

"i don't think i am either. let's just have a good time tonight and we will definitely talk about it later." i suggested.

"perfect." she said as she kissed me on the cheek. shit i'm blushing.

we both got out of my car and began to walk to our spot. i could see they already had a fire going. and i could see bottles of liquor in the sand. great, mikasa better not get fucked up again.