i've always loved you - eremika au

it was a mistake.

mikasa's pov:

i woke up with a pounding headache. where am i? i opened one eye to check my surroundings. oh i'm in my room. how did i get here?

oh my fucking god. images from last night flashed across my mind. i made out with eren. holy shit. why do i faintly remember telling him to fuck me? oh my god this is so embarrassing i'm never drinking again in my entire life.

i need to talk to him. wait i'm way too scared for that. i'm humiliated. why did i even do that last night? i'm so fucking stupid. and before i knew it i was typing eren's number in my phone and pressing call. fuck.

after what felt like forever he finally picked up the phone and said, "hello?"

"h-hi eren." i don't even know what i want to say to him this is so awkward.

"what's up?"

"u-um about last night i-"

"no it's fine i understand." he said. what does he understand though because i don't even understand?

"what?" i replied after a moment.

"it was a mistake." he said which made my heart drop. i don't know why. i don't know what i'm feeling. i hate eren but at the same time i don't think i wanted him to say that.

"oh." was i all i could manage to say.

"u-unless you don't think it was."

"no yeah for sure i was just completely wasted is all, i wasn't thinking right." i told him. what am i saying?

"yeah totally and i probably had like second hand high or something. i was being dumb." no.. disagree with me please. what am i thinking?

"y-yeah."

"hey mikasa."

"yes?" i said way too quickly.

"let's just keep this between us." he told me.

"right yeah."

"i don't want anyone knowing about it ya know."

"yeah same." no not same. what is going on?

"alright well bye."

"bye." i replied before hanging up. literally what the fuck just happened? do i even want to pretend like what happened last night didn't happen? it would be easier to just forget about it but for some reason i feel different now.

i don't even want to think about this right now. i rolled over in bed and tried to go back to sleep but after five minutes i received a notification.

i clicked on it to see a text message from jean. i sat up in my bed to read it.

jean: hey mikasa

hey what's up

jean: nothing much, um did something happen between u and eren last night

no why lol

jean: oh good

good?

jean: yeah
um i was wondering if u wanted to go out today

like with the group?

jean: no like just us..

oh like a date?

jean: um sure

i thought about it for a minute. i don't like him like that but some weird part of me wants to do it in spite of eren. i know it's completely fucked but i also don't want to tell him no.