"Hey gorgeous, I am Osoro, what about you?" She raises her head and gives me a smirk. I bite my lower lip and smile coyly to ease the tension. I hadn't talked to such a fine lady before, leave alone seeing one around Ole Kasasi. I didn't mean to say students of Multimedia and Africa Nazarene Universities who reside around Skylark aren't that pretty but to call Wanjiku pretty is an understatement. She is the epitome of beauty. Drop-dead beautiful. Yes, I just imagined rolling her over in my newly acquired six by six-bed thanks to HELB Loan and her singing along to my 'mugithi' inspired stroke game. I mean every lad who lay eyes on her must have had to adjust their prick position to cover their arousal.
Waru-colored complexion has a Luo ass and is eight-figured. Apparently not your usual Agikuyu girl. I drooled over her. For the two years, I have spent in my neat bedsitter in Skylark Apartments, she was exotic. In as much as I got laid with girls and forgetting them, this feeling was strange. Being a ladies man in the capital isn't easy if you have low libido. Yeah, if you don't do 'mukhombero' or 'kamote' then you have to be Kisii. There's something about Kisii's. The ladies can tell you that. So for me, being witty and tall, of course dark, was a plus for me. I could easily get laid after two puffs of 'mali safi' courtesy of my roommate. Yeahs, a roommate in a bedsitter.
Sounds weird but I only needed a roof over my head. And being the broke nigga who dressed well and smelled nice, none of them really were interested in much as long as they got fire strokes and laughed at my jokes. So, gentlemen, I got one tip for y'all, if you want to get laid just make that lady laugh and give her lies. Lots of lies. Ladies love flattery and if you are perfect at that, you will need to refill your sperm bank often. You know what I mean. So I get the famous fuckboy title from ladies who want to taste my strokes but whom I have turned down for reasons best known to you gentlemen, class. You should be classy, don't just shag any 'Chica' you come across. Set your standards champ.
Back to my lady, my heart twitches and skips bits whenever I see her. I see her almost daily, coming to get her daily dose of Mary Jane but I never get to talk to her. What do I do? I know exactly what I do. I send my roomie away and when she comes to honor her prescription, she finds me and at least I could give her one or two words. You know, shoot my shot. I do exactly that but the daughter of Mumbi tags along with her Kalenjin girlfriend, who seems to be smiling each second. It's the culture they say. So I don't get to confess my stupid feelings. Stupid, I mean its Nairobi and am a young man, I shouldn't be investing my feelings in a lady whom I can't even commit to.
Yeah, its almost exam season and she needs to stock her meds because she needs to save time to read for her exams. Campus students will tell you how busy they suddenly become a week, no a day to exams. I let her read for exams, I do not want to distract her with my giddy emotions. And at least I have learned to contain my whoremones. I wasn't born gypsy so it's definite I will win over my second head. I do my little research on this girl from Central Kenya and I get she is not on the famous 'I can Gerrit, you can gerrit, all can gerrit' list of urban chicas. We usually call them town bicycle chicas to mean everyone in the hood has probably 'rode' them.
In the last week of exams, she comes over this time alone and looks bothered. Yes! This is my chance, act sympathetic and 'choma' her some dope to console her. I know I have to pay for that later but as they say, faint hearts never won a fair lady. I was never the faint-hearted, you should know how many times I have been in the police cells smiling, or the number of times I have wrestled with buffaloes that hover around at night when am coming from school late in the night. This is my game to win. I open the door and I welcome her in that husky voice that ladies love. That voice that makes their ovaries dance. That one. I give her a four-second hug that seems an eternity. I could read all that was in her heart. She was hurt and lonely, I could hear her heart cry in solitude. I decided to play savior.
I had a 'mzinga' of Chrome half full and of course plenty of joints for her. Can I get you a glass? She nods in acceptance and all I can do as a gentleman is get her the fucking glass. I put two glasses and take a sip. I really needed that to boost my confidence. I start telling my lame jokes amid puffs of a joint I already lit and she seems to enjoy. Daughter of Mumbi narrates to me how her ungrateful boyfriend cheated on her with her best friend and I listened to her only to ask "sasa utadu?" She tells me she won't give in to a man again. "Men are trash" the cliché that never fails to get meaning. But surely how do you trust Brayoh? Haha, let me laugh at this poor soul.
She gets emotional and as a man, I knew I had to give her a dick to ride on, oh my bad, a shoulder to lean on. We are drunk and high on marijuana so we flying wingless on the ninth cloud. Guys, yeah so let me slide you this secret, you want bomb sex? Get high and naked. Only God will have you stop. The lady is in a black Burberry miniskirt and a tumbocut Tommy top. Yeah...I stole a few glances at her beautiful brown thighs and 'zegitamuri' threatened to get out. Calm down maaane. How do you even grow hard and she is still healing from Brayoh's heartbreak?
We downed the bottle 'unchased' and lit the third joint. All I heard was 'zangu zimenice' and a kiss planted on my lips unaware. I didn't know what to do that moment, return the kiss, push her away, or just stay? I just returned the kiss hungrily and trust me you, the taste of alcohol and breath of marijuana from her luscious plump lips won't do your whoremones any good. The next second I felt a hand down my grey sweatpants holding the shaft of my now hard prick. Good lord, is this happening?
I push up her half top and unhook her black laced bra to reveal her full boobs. Magnifique! I hardly had put her left pebbled nipple between my lips when I heard a loud knock at the door. I hesitated but the second time the knock was louder. I left the lady high and south to go see the devil's agent at the door. Guess who, my week-old 'girlfriend!'
